Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Sir Whoa!

I don't mind a PS2. My DS has bored me since I have stopped buying their games. You can blame the release of DS Lite for that. Right now, I am pressing for a new computer. But that is like keeping a cat. So you can just imagine the costs. True, a computer will get me to do a lot of things but buying games is tough. A PS3 is a nice touch. It is a gaming powerhorse but it'll need a high definition television. With that in mind, I need a lot of things! But right now, I just want to clean my room.

Just tidy it up right now :)

Monday, October 29, 2007

Why my long titles are overlapping? B'cos the words are TOO BIG...

I think I was asked to download an MSN virus that masked itself as an image file a while ago. Fortunately, this wasn't really new and almost everyone with a tech rich background should have known about this issue. [HAHA! Another reason why I'm on a MAC! take that mr ho!] I can't believe it. MSN is still plagued with this problem and I don't see any solution offered by them, if you exclude their precautionary advice that is bannered on the conversation window. I still remember my first brush with the virus. It was on my Windows [doubt de Windi... ;)]. I was on Messenger and I think a friend of mine asked to look at a picture we both together on Spaces. 0.O But at that time, I was a newbie and viruses were like only news, not experiences. There was a link and I clicked on it. Nothing happened. Puzzled, I quickly IM my friend. He replied with the solemn news, it was a virus.

Now here's the irony part, it you're a virus and I 'opened' you. Shouldn't you attack my computer? Well, it looks like that it wasn't the case. I guess there were too many viruses attacking mine durring that time. HAHA! Well tech is playing a big part in life. Especially when it takes over all 150 contacts in your phone. Also, how we send secret love e-mails [no more cards and letters... haiz..] to the other half when only to found out that the other half's e-mail was hacked... Oww man... All the secrets are out! You see, we actually depend too much on tech. But too much is never enough. Honestly speaking, they really help my brain to think more. They make my life EXTREMELY easy and also, work was never this fun! Everything is SO organised and I have a to-do-list! Sad to say, it's vulnerable to egocentric idiots whose job is to create chaos and trouble in our lives. DARN YOU EVIL DOERS! We must do something. The only way... So the only way that we can protect this vulnerable dependancy is to secure it. But that's not working out really well. Years on and we accounts are still being hacked.


It might be a marketing strategy. Virus protection software like McAfee and Norton are rumoured to make the virus, release them and tout that their product is the ONLY one that can fend off the virus. It's a possibility but I don't see any major companies showing off their products. The only thing that they 'show off' is their price tag. 200 bucks for a software that will last you for 18 months. Yes, there is a time limit. WHAT THE HECK!!! [HAAAH! ANOTHER REASON TO GET A MAC!!!]

Well anyway, time to sleep. I have school tomm. Class blog is near dead. A.maths is first. My crush is ALWAYS pretty. Chalet off? And, why am i always hitting the ; key when i want to hit the l key?

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Day 1

In an uexpected twist, my plan for today actually worked. Normally, the plans I had made would idea go off key or just not executed. However, I guess Lady Luck was on my side helping me to run a satisfied meeting. Like I always said, "nothing is always enough as there will always be room for improvements". I think I would have a few more meetings with the mock committee team before I make my decision. I will call them up, asking for a day or two in the lab for another com. meeting. I would mentor them in their decisions and thru trial and error, we'll make it there. :) There's no doubt at all that a lot of effort must be put in but bit by bit, as time passes, it'll be a mountain! A few pointers here, it's SUPREMELY wise to listen more. Also, let them know that they can step up. It's to tell them it's time for them to be serious. Letting them have their say and voicing out their opinions also generate feedback for the com members. It tells us how the receiving end is accepting it. Only thru this, the com team can see what they have missed and can reflect and say, "Hey, we did this part wrongly. We should add this and that. Mr so and so said that blah blah blah..." One note here, I can happily say that it was wise for me to go into the psychology workforce. Technically, I'm using a teaching technique but to all of us, it's just a simple time to share.

Yes, as quoted by one fellow senior, this technique is 'naive'. However, This technique is necessary for such a chaotic club like ours. This is just a ever steeper slope. Start from scratch and build upwards like tall buildings. After all, I did say that we'll be using A LOT of effort. This just assures me that next year, I won't be singing Beatles' Hard Day's Night!

Right now, it feels like a jigsaw puzzle falling to it's places, creating a picture of unmatched serenity. My parents are back. She is smiling. Workload is being removed from my shoulders. I'm getting a better grip in life. And I never felt this great before! But nothing in this world is perfect. Just keep that in mind.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


It’s so sad isn’t it? I’m not perfect. So don’t be surprised if I stumble and fall. My mom is facing a dilemma while I am wasting time here. By right, I’m suppose to help her. Help go through this hard time. I just don’t know what to say. My Malay is just as bad as my English. You know, sometimes I feel useless. I feel that I’m better off dead. I think I sound suicidal but I’m not thinking of killing myself. [despite the fact that I wished I was dead…] I’m just trying to be extreme. Just to let my mom know that when she cries, I bleed.

Maybe I should give her some time off. But I still need a mother, so who else?

Monday, October 22, 2007

Learning An Evil Look

It takes you almost a year to stand up and face your problem. You talk about it in your sleep. You think of it every second. With all your might, you tell the world that it is not a problem. It's a challenge that provokes you if you don't fix it. This is not a feeling. This is a reason to live. So much effort at a young age. So are we done here? No. It's very easy to be complacent. So to deter that you'll need your onw kind of morphin that keeps you sane and keeps you going. My morphin is alive. Walking on this face of this world, she is the only person that can send me out of a window and down onto my knees and at the same time, keep me up and alive. She's my morphin. Sometimes, she teaches me of an evil look. I simply adore her.

Sometimes, we are to sane. This saneness has invited countless flaws. Years of evolution and the same old problems have yet to knock some sense into us. We are never on top. We must always press on forward for the RiVeR flows oly one direction.

It's time.

Sunday, October 21, 2007


English ROCKS!!!
Rock music ROCKS!!!
Mac ROCKS!!!
We all ROCK!!!

Well the holidays are near and I'm slacking. Not the real slack. It's more of the happy-free-time boy kind of feeling. [Man... I'm talking CRAP!!!] This slack is getting me bored actually. So I think I would be doing my first bit of the Physics Light Video. [As in the topic is Light...] I was thinking of listing down all the relevant points today. Then tomm, I'll just do the screenplay. Hmm... I want to finish up my Chem's TYS. I'll prolly do that after I do my Phy's Video.

Now! I'm going to my MSN spaces! Gonna try it out!

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Tounge Of An Aussie!

His lyrics are not like Audioslave's which sometimes make complete no sense at all. His lyrics are relevant. [that's a plus for me] But it's just that the words makes him tounge tied! Haha! It sounds like country music with great guitar exploitation including riffs and plucking. His bass mate and drummer will just spice it up. Man... NICE!

Friday, October 19, 2007

who cares abt jealousy?

The prefects commendation today was a successful one. The person who gave the speak was a pastor [could see the white thing found on the throats of pastors] and he was talking about how leadership is important and being leader is a tough job. Somehow, I felt touched and appreciated him for saying that. I myself am a leader for 2 years now. I hope I could run my last year with a 'prefix' to my name but looking at my current situation, I don't think that could happen. Anyway, let's talk about this later. Back to the speaker, he mainly talked about th elife of a leader. [seriously speakers, it's a cliche.. the past few speakers were all talking about their past life...] Well, the speech should have at least give me some lee way but looking at my school mates, I don't think so. Well, they were all looking everywhere except the speaker. A good hint that they weren't listening. Teachers? They don't need any speech to know what a leader is. At least half of them are leaders. To me, a leader is anyone. But some just don't want to show.

We live in a world of imperfection anyway. So we can never expect the perfect but we can expect the best.

Looking at my marks. : \
Looking at my family. : (
looking at my friends. : P
Looking at her. :D
Looking at me. (N/A)
Seriously speaking, if I want to be at greater heights, I wished I was adopted. If you want me to be a heart giver, I must stay. Damn... decisions again.

Thursday, October 18, 2007


THAT'S RIGHT! KEEP THAT BALL ROLLING. Once the momentum is set, never stop it. You will make the sun CAST ITS SHADOW!!!! This is especially to all you guys
taking your O's this year.


As I have little faith, I know i'm an easy target. I'm no pushover. I'LL MAKE THE SUN CAST ITS OWN SHADOW! I'll make my own faith. She'll be my faith. Shout at me, spilt at me, curse at me, look down at me, hate me, despise me, kill me. I don't care BECAUSE I'LL BE STANDING.

Thanks Kitty!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Project GlobaSasi

Weird name huh?

At my pinnacle of my operations, it's time to stop by a creek and look at the water flowing. Once again, it's a reminder to all of us that whatever we are doing, be it a fire fighter or even a housewife, we all must
move forward. That's why one of the world's best living nature attraction is a river. They keep flowing.

A river is not made in just a day or too. From my understanding, a river is made when a strong surge of water from a spring bursts through the thick forest, leaving a long passage of water ways. That is how a river is made. It's not a weak surge but a strong large surge. A tree is rooted to the ground, into the depths of soil and gravel. Some are even metres down, anchoring it. So a little push is not enough. It must be a strong push, a strong surge. Of every aspect of a river, it represents us, living in this imperfect world. We must be strong in terms of, ultimately, our mind and our body. Only the we can be like the river, always flowing and clear.
For we live in a imperfect world, there is no such thing as a smooth journey. One way or another, small or big, you will run into problems, troubles and hardships. Let me give you a tip. Don't take them as what they are. Take them as a challenge. And you already know that there will be a challenge, you know your options. Either lay there half beaten by the air or unsheathe that sword and reenact the movie, 300. ; ) For knowing what will come is half the battle won. The other half is how you solve it, go around it or even defeat it. So this is where you are to prepare.
Set your mind. Find the solution. Be in everyone's shoes. Realise your dream. Think of an evil laughter. Boast your half done work to at most 3 people. Finish it. Then do a back up plan. And finally, execute your plan. Simple enough? Or wait, when you won, do your evil laughter. HAHAHAHA!!!

Ok jokes aside. The sup papers are just 4 weeks away. It's time to practice English. Well, actually I did. I just d
id my speech on my blog on Project GlobaSasi. Weird name huh? Anyway, i got some picture that i was suppose to post but i didn't so in the end. Well, here they are!

Check it out! I got this in a Teacher-Student Event! Check out the logo!

Mercenary Antics...


Tuesday, October 16, 2007

A Short Post After Being Emo Over A Phone... SHUCKS!!!

Technology has ruled our life in most ways, one of which is how we organise our lives. From switching on the TV to remembering our contacts, [bleagh... that's a bad example...] we ARE really heavily depending on them. The question is, Will they back stab us like the ending of I Robot? Hmm... Can't imagine my phone springing into life and walking on it's sides across the room just to kill me. -_-" Well for me, this very distant imagination is just a prediction. But worry not, I'm not really tech dependant. I'm tech savvy. ; )

WHAT! My Motorola is not compatible with iSync!!! [For the benefit... iSync is a software that allows several devices to sync , or talk, to the Macs. It's much more better than Windows. We need to install the product's software! At least the Macs have 'efficiency'. Without iSync, I can't connect to my iCal. [It's like outlook w/o the mail]. Darn! It's where I store all my stuff!!! Well another reason to buy a new phone!

Maybe I should get the old Razr V3. [I LOVE STYLISH PHONES!!!] Simple and it syncs with iSync. A music buff like me should get the Sony Ericsson W850i. [that's the only guy from the walkman line that's under iSync] BLEAGH. I'm getting sick of phones...

Sunday, October 14, 2007

My My, Ain't You Vodafone?

Haha... Emo days are OVER! I can't believe the miracle of her. Her simple words make me a happy man. HAH! How I wished you could call me everyday or at least look at me and talk to me. After all, I love a good conversation. Haha... I'm playing the song in my background... : )

I was thinking of getting my 'sponsorship' for 2008 in these coming months. Since I have no com to play on [that is hardware that can SUPPORT a game... GEEZ], it's really wise to get a working computer. A desktop to be precise. It can double as my workstation, especially my work like school. Yea... school work... You know, all these thinking of new desktops, spending money for these 'useless' things. [call it useless. seriously, in a months time, it's time to upgrade] ALL THEY DO IS MAKE YOU SPEND MONEY!!! But without a Windi, I can't sync most of my haredware. One of which is my father's iPaq, my bro's SonicStage [useless software btw] and of course, SYNC MY MOTOROLA and my game mood. xP But hey! Who needs games anyway? But what about the hardware sync? Well, just improve Windi's performance! Maybe i'll reinstall windows. but where's the Window's disc again? Don't forget to backup your HDD with a ext HDD! I think i'll buy a LaCie for that. I think I'm going to buy the disc!

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

phase me out

Its really hard to live here. Crossing the hallway will put me in a war. Though I'm not part of it, but like i've said several post earlier, I'm just an ant in an elephant brawl. I can't just ignore them in my current state. Nor can I talk about it. I mean everyone is busy. Ms chua is invigulating and LadyBird is making feel as though she's ignoring me. It's just a feeling but I know its there. My friends are really insensitive. Even showing my 'emotional' side, they still take it as normal. Maybe it's just because they haven't gone through yet. Or is it just their way to perk me, making me smile and forget these tearful stories. (: Well it seems to be working. The air is filled with hostility and I'm breathing it. It's slowly killing me but wait... I just want to shout at them, tell them this it is pointless to stay together when my own are fighting. I can't even tell them my secrets. When there was this problem, I didn't look up to them. Instead, my teachers were the closest thing I called family. My friends were my second brothers. My real me was in classes. I smiled more at school then at home. My school is my second home. I would rather stay back than go home. What is this feeling? I shouldn't have this. It must be forbidden. But why do I still have it? Is it because of my lack in faith? Or just the real me? I'll tell you a secret. If I care, I can fix it but you'll see me at the other side. If you hate me, I'll be with you. This hate-me-thing reminds me of LadyBird.

I really need to talk to you...

Monday, October 08, 2007


I'm so alone. Today was my e.maths paper. It was pretty much ok despite the fact that I left out some questions! It's just that I had forgotten how to solve it and I cant scratch out the formula. ARGHHH!!!! I think I lost about 15 marks in this area. And about 5 marks lost for carelessness, if any. Gosh, what's becoming of me?

I just got back from the chilly chem remedial. It's sort of a last minute, break it or lose it, remedial since my paper is just 17 hours away. Not that long eh? Mrs Leong went thru 'most' of the unclear topics. Note that I STRESSED most. I just hope that after my revision later and tonight, I can AT LEAST get a pass. Aww... man... Yawning, my head is doing it's 'rocky' dance now. My eyes are calling it quits and my stomach is rumbling! Yes, my stomach is. I guess the breakfast fried rice is not enough. Gosh man, who else eat such a heavy meal in the morning!

Yesterday was empty. I wanted to sms her but I guess my courage was not amounting to my barks. I'm still trap in this looping problem of assumptions. Is it just that I think too much or is it in my blood? I think it's my lack in religious contact that is not helping to negate such evil thoughts of lust and all the other bad stuff. Whoa! What am I talking man!!! Man, I wonder what she's thinking now...

Friday, October 05, 2007

Thursday, October 04, 2007

I think I'm crazy

With 6 papers down, i'm just left with 6 more. It's not the end that i'm after, it's actually the so-called destiny that i myself have created. I always tell myself that it's all just a dream, an image, a fake story created by my imagination. Building castles in the air never felt this real. 6 papers are wasted cos i didn't study them at all. I just knew i didn't. I'm just using the fact of my disturbed family status as an excuse to garner attention, an excuse to fail. I don't know why i am doing this. Oh wait, that's a lie.

Fuelled by feelings of unrequited love, i press on into the dark road ahead. As you all know, i separated from my crush this year once i told her that i was in love in her. Yes, i wasn't good enough for her. That's why it just had to go away. And ever since, life has changed. She used to be the reason why i excelled. I always tell myself that i should do well to impress her. But with her gone, i just lost a reason to live. Not only have my grades fall, my standards too fall sharply. [My English is evident enough for my declining grades.] Everything I do became a little less perfect. Then it went from good to bad and ending up right now to worst. I became 'vulgar', short-tempered, complacent, boastful, selfish, materialistic and even lustful. And it's all because i lost a reason to live. But is this a reflection of my true self? I know for my next 85 years, i will never be near her. So will i act this way for the rest of my life? Is this a sign for what lies in front of me? For those who hated me, or even those who resented me for my past actions, I relief you as i share those same views. It's just that i don't want to hear those words. Thus, it has lead me to an unchanged manner. After all, who wants to hear your own flaws?

Lost a reason to live? What abt the other reasons? Are they not strong enough to get me be like the times of sec 1 and 2? Or is it that the loss of her was too strong that it just wiped away all the other reasons to live and just told me, "Hey, just kill yourself."? It could be that. But i'm stiil alive. Maybe it's because i want to be noticed. Maybe it's to tell my FATHER that his son is in trouble. Or maybe my MOTHER that her son is killing himself inside out. Attention. I'm just plain immature. Like a baby boy, i cry for attention. WHAT AM I? This just contradicts with what i have worked for the last 18 months. Where's my professionalism?

Professionalism was one of my measures to get her heart. But she just didn't see it.

I just want to pull heaven down and hop on. I can't focus. I can't breathe. I can't do anything right. I'm not perfect, that's why.


*A post dedicated to the movement in anti-vulgarities*

Oh crap, 7 Oct is near. I have yet to get a gift, or even MAKE one. Crap.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

if i could have it all...

So it i could have it all...

My Own Room: I used to have a FloorPlanner account. It enables me to create virtual plans of rooms. Tried accessing it earlier on but somehow, it just wont let me in. But I do wish for a room. Just wishing, not in need.

MacBook Pro: Man this is my system. This is WORST CASE SCENARIO!!! If i have a chance to get a new computer, it would be this MacBook Pro. It's actually the software that i crave, not much of the hardware. Dual-boot and Parallels. BF2142 installed. Adobe CS3. Office 07. was asking for iwork but that will be the case if office lag...

DSC T200: Veering out of the professional photography, this snap and shoot camera will just do me justice for every snap. 3.5 inch touch screen and it's face recognition feature is a must. And yes, it's for style.

iPod shuffle or "The Fitness Stick" 4GB: My music walks with me. But the current iPod shuffle will only carry 1gb worth of songs. So i guess i'll wait. you know what will perfect it? if it has a screen. but then, it won't be called a shuffle right? For the fitness stick, it's a great addition for my running and all sweat-it-out stuff. But i think it's a bit pricey. it has a fitness tracking stuff (how many calories burnt and all) but the thing is that it just has a low 2gb.

Well, that's that. Gonna reveal the other half of my wish list later. Hmm, should i study?

Monday, October 01, 2007

Where's My Snare?

I'm suppose to study you know. Tomm's my eng p1 and p2. I can hardly scratch the format of a formal letter and i'm here blogging. shouldn't i do sth worth of my time? i guess not. where will all my love go when i go out there? sry, that's random words from a song. last week my friend asked me if i'm going for the extra chem lesson. i replied that i will not be going. surprised, he asked why. i just said that i 'just don't want' to go. with an 'uh ok', he walked off. now, here's my part. it got me thinking. is that a reason or an excuse? it's more like an excuse to get myself out of chem class. not a reason that justify my actions. i HATE excuses. they are statements full of flaws that just further proves the weakness of a human being. gosh, what have become of US? ME?

i come back home just to witness a quiet war between two of my trusted giants. i'm just an ant caught in a fight between two elephants. it's more like the political heat than a full-fledged war. how can i flip a page when i see my own pillars of joy are tumbling? i thought they know me. well it's more of like "knew" me. i'm tasked to live up to their standards with just A hand from them. huh? is this life? if i move on, i will be ever distant from you all. if i don't, i'm willing to fix it.

wasting my own life on things that can be prevented. argh... evident that i'm limiting myself.