Now, it's not that simple to live.
So we have come this far. We have reached. But the question is, did we get what we wanted? And the best time to look into that mirror is no other time but now. There's no later. There is no tomorrow. Graduation season kicks in for polytechnic students. 3 years passes fast. Perhaps time passes way too fast?
As I made myself comfortable in that seat, with the certificates in my hand, with the red scroll, with smiles all around, I found myself hearing the words from the master of ceremony that I had hoped for at the start of my diploma studies. But today, those words did not belong to me. They belong to them.
Man. It sucks, big time. It's at this stage, a feeling crept back. A feeling of disgust, irony, sadness and solemness. I should be there standing.
Did I work hard enough? Was I smart enough? Was I determined enough? Was I good enough? Did I try hard enough? Maybe if I tried harder, maybe if I was better, maybe if it this or that never happened. Maybe, is just maybe. And that was just enough for me to just shut my self-destructing mind.
I puffed my chest. I clapped hard. I got my smile back.
Some say, it's over and there is no use to cry over spilt milk. Some say, forward is the only way. Some say, when life is full of lemons, lemonade is the way it is. At this point, the valedictorian was speaking. She spoke with the exact excitement as one. She's beautiful. My phone received a text.
"Eh, you're not speaking?"
I replied, "Haha. Yeah. Nope. Didn't put in enough to become one."
Moments later, "Well, must try harder! Haha. You're not the valedictorian type anyway."
That made me smile wider. Not because of how it was just funny or how his sarcasm just made my day. It was not the nature of it. It has the real true meaning of life. It would be easier if I believed in destiny or fate. But here's the fact of life. If you're not made for it, you will not be it. If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.
You can't be all of everything. You are just you.