Friday, May 17, 2013

Living On vs Moving On

Oh hello there. 

Some times I thank Red Bull, coffee and maybe late suppers for giving me the extra push to eek out a little inspiration. And of course these kinds of things need more than just a little chemical reaction, they also require a certain series of events to happen. Else, it's just be a bonfire without the people. That's no fun at all. 

I went back to Ngee Ann Polytechnic today. It is just the itchy-backside-me that want to go back. Earlier today, I realised my juniors were graduating! And I simply had to go down and give them my high-5 for surviving 3 years. Those 3 years especially with a hotshot like me. It should be a diploma by itself to survive my wonkiness. And since MOE will not recognise such a diploma, so yeah, I just wanted to see them off. Besides, that was what I would have wanted when I graduated.

It was a rash decision. Since I was on MC, it was a clear sign that my doctor wants me anchored so that this body can repair itself. But you know me, I have a heart of a lion. Cool enough? So I grabbed all my stuff and just went down. But it got to me as I made my way there in the all too familiar express bus with its rumblings reverberating through my body, "Wow, it has been a year."

A FRIGGIN' YEAR PEOPLE. It has been a year. What has happened in a year? Then, what about that year before? Or 2 years before? Or 3? Or 4? Hey, remember that time where you wanted to be a teacher? Haha. 

I guess what these is all about, is that in this life, our culture dictates that we shall live on. This is indeed the beautiful nature of our lives, we get to move on and carry forth. Whatever that comes our way, ill episodes, failure, incidents, we will always find a way to begin anew.

So when I sat in that bus and as I walked towards the CC in a path that just seems that I took it just yesterday, I feared for the worst, that I would be long gone. Which I think will happen in the end, people live on so fast that they are willing to leave what they have and start on a new page. I just wondered if we ever forget our roots, what will happen to us? 

Our roots brought me back there today. I wanted to appreciate my juniors. I wanted to tell them, in presence, that their graduation is ever important. They have been a big part of my life and they still are. That is my root. That is my culture. So culture really dictates eh?

Plus, once in a while, it is a good idea to go back and sink in with the past. If you've been following, I call this Hippo Time. And I did have my Hippo Time. It was especially emphatic when my eyes caught her. And hers caught mine. It just struck me on how I was so foolish then. Haha. Maybe, sometimes, these things are left, unspoken. But I was glad to see you again. Really.

And it will not matter if I am forgotten or long gone or left behind in this society that lives so fast. My culture dictates that I will remember you. And so I will remember you. 

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

Remember your roots.

Stay trippy.

I was reminded once again. And I really believe that, as humans, we need to be reminded once in a while. Nowadays, things happen so fast around us. One day you're sitting in a bus after a long day in school, dreading the homework you got. Another day, you are behind a desk, filling up papers, supporting an organisation, ploughing through that 8-5 job.

Haha. It is funny that I had to describe both phases of lives in great agony.

2 days back, I met up with a mentor of mine. It then just reminded me of the days I used to be perched up with so many things to do. Which of course led me to the revelation of being appreciative of wherever I would be, or end up in. It was not what I specifically remembered that set me out to write this but it was the existence of this very memory. Guys, I lived through this moment. I survived through this. I was there and back, in one piece. I made it. And it is a joy to be here.

I don't know man. After my stint in management, I threw away myself to refresh my hopes. And then, instead of a revitalised self to turn my cogs of time, I was renewed. Like sort of a baptism. Only slower and enduring. I saw things vividly. I felt things longer. I soaked in deeper. And then, I just became happy with what I had.

I could thank the repeated failures in my 2 year stint. Or maybe my constant distractions I allowed myself then. Do I have to thank that feeling of jadedness for propelling this shift? Whatever it is, it was a great reminder for me that evening.

Remember your roots.