Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Sun in my Pocket

Sunday came and passed. He got married. I gained a sister but in the meantime, I also lost the brother I used to hang around with. Okay, maybe he’s not close to me but I will kinda miss his naggy remarks on “eh go and wash your dishes” or his English language accent that was so typical of a Mat. Haha. (Though no “siul” or “SIA LA”.) I will miss him. Then again, glass half full, I got a new room to slack in. HOHOHOHOHO.

What is this thing about marriages? Over the past 5 years, we have an ever rising total number of marriages. Back in ‘09, we had 26,081 marriages. The largest increase since ‘04. And here I am, looking at my Brother’s wedding.

I have this thinking that a wedding is more than just the biggest day of the bride’s and ultimately the groom’s life. Though it can be big or small ceremony though families do it as big as possible. Not because it’s a must or it’s tradition or it’s cultural. But because families do want it to big. Which family doesn’t want to have an elaborate wedding? It’s gotta be big. Why?

When I get married, it will be big. Because I want to let everyone know that she’s the one. My bride, my love is here. And I’ve found her. So let this be my mark of commitment and dedication to love her. (Sweet ah? haha.)

In other words, you hold a wedding to tell everyone that you love her. You hold a wedding to announce to the whole world of your dedication. Heck it, if you could, you would invite the whole world! That’s why brides and grooms get the chills when it comes to their day. It’s a commitment, a dedication, a responsibility, a celebration of love, happiness, loyalty and love. Haha.

But it wasn’t that big for my brother’s. When the time creeps closer to the end of the day, I saw lesser people. And it was his time to mingle with people. And then when he was about to leave, I could count the guests with my fingers (and toes)! I see way too many empty chairs. I see so little people looking at the bride and groom.

No. In my wedding, I want to chat with everyone. Everyone comes at one time. You RSVP for it. And if I have to, I will get you to buy an entrance ticket! I want people to be there. I want people to be there when I’m suppose to chat. When I leave, everyone is there. I will get to shake everyone’s hand, thank them for coming. When I stand on that stage, there’ll be no empty seat. In fact, people are looking for seats! I might sound egoistic and all. But it’s not my day. It’s our day. I just want to make it big for her.

I don’t know. I just felt I wanted to rant that all out. I figure what’s more hurting is to see people not even coming down. And it kinda makes me sad because I really wanted to see them all! You know who you are! Haha. But props to those who do made it! Gosh, you’re the greatest bunch! You guys are truly the ones that make me what I am today.

It just shows how much value that see in you. It is so great to see people around you and they still remember you! And it just makes you wonder of the value of yourself. Do they even care when you want them to care? Will they even know if you need them to care?

And I wonder, if I can see so value and care much in her, does she even see any in me?