Wednesday, May 30, 2007


i'm listening to my fav song. unfortunately, it's too sad to be named. or is it just me that is too sad to say it? one of my friends asked for my blog add. which i obviously rejected his request. my blog is too sad to read. it's not worth reading.

i'm feeling sick after spending a day at np. my eyes are red and my mind is heavy. not forgetting that my thoughts are weighed by her. more silent months for me and less heart.

really wish i was dead.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

because of you

i would like to say that i'm dead. like a key to a lock, only one person can save me from this eternal dispair.

i just never get enough of that sweet person.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

-dead- blogs

just look at these... dead blogs... of my club!

they are a waste of blogger's space! i demand them to be scrapped of the database!!!

Saturday, May 26, 2007

lazy morning with led

led zeppelin's music is like jimi hendrix in a band and being white. well some might say that they are the beatles, reformed. tsk... i'm listening to music that is as old my teachers.

woke up with bones playing in my background. i must say, it's quite a song to wake up with. anyway, i should start by saying TEACHERS ARE THE BEST! yes, they are the best. not only am i admiring them, i'm listening to their kind of music! lols!!

here's the story. i was walking with matt yesterday in school. we were looking for my labrooy. we wanted to play his axis & allies. well actually, i want to win the game. he's dominating in that game! so we were on our way and we say our the ever happy ms chua (art teacher) struggling to get the boys to carry these art displays. and yes, me, being ever helpful and busy-body, i offered my help. matt looked reluctant but hey, it's worst if he had turned down helping. with that in mind, i gave my hands to the new art teacher guy with really strange accent as though he came from india and graduated from harvard university. no, i'm not saying he strings his sentences like that. he just have a weird combo. and yea in the end, after a "hard day's night", [insert beatles' hard day's night song], we managed to give art club a boost. reward? $10. the new teacher just shove it into my pocket and said, "Here guys, treat yourself to KFC". i was like WTF!!!! well you know, teachers are the best!

KFC wasn't my side as i am an animal activist of some sort. dang, pls stop the killing. mr ho, munching his student meal [-_-] asked me a question i even thought god would never ask.

well i'll end it today. i need to make my english more singapore sounding. it sounds like brit to me.

a hug will make me warm overnight. a kiss will make me want you more. an understanding will make me smile again.

Friday, May 25, 2007


it's 1058 now and i'm still sitting here in my computer chair, waiting for the world to change. previously, i had planned to send ms lee off. she's going to perth tonight and really wanted to send her off. but MOM just had to spoil it. yes it's late but MOM, you are not giving me space here. sure you have given me space. for example, you let me use my mac eventhough it has been scheduled for it's shipment to my dad's hands. and what about the time when you let me stay untill 4 am in the morning in school so i could finish up ALICE. well that wasn't actually space giving. u would ring me up every hour just to convince me to go back home.

but now, i want more space.

i may sound greedy but if there's an official standard on how much freedom must be given to the child, we are way below that standard. no movies, no little walks with friends i knew for 2 years and trusted, no badminton with my fellow club-mate at the cc, no birthday parties, no this no that. by now, i must have figured out that you are trying to protect me and i respect that. but maybe you should at least hear my words. i like to go out. err... maybe every friday? but must be back by 10pm. the time extends if i stick to the rules. oh! what about a weekly allowance of $4? it'll be an improvement from 20¢ coins that makes my wallet bulky? if you make it 10, i won't ask you for my book and stationary fundings. so yea? everything cool?

well no. they won't listen cos this is in english and they cant read english. if i mix and mash it into malay, it'll prolly be worst cos i just passed my malay paper.

so now, i'll dedicate this post to MS LEE . so no sorrow for today. thanks for everything and have fun at perth! ps: bring me back a kangaroo!
i'll prolly wake up in the wee times and talk abt LearnFest.

no smiles form her and i to each other.

Thursday, May 24, 2007


listening to hard metal music and i still can hear my dad at the other side of the room screaming his top off because of my results. well now, he's toned down a bit. i can finally hear the lyrics of Stone Sour. freshly bought by my bro. seriously, hard metal ain't that bad! thanks to brendan for complimenting! never knew my english would impress anyone!

anyway, this may be my last post. he has rant the ways of evil that will make me be kaz. keeping me away from humanity and finally escape it's grip. without regrets, jump out a building and let that black heart save you.
i cant believe that i'm saying this but

-censored, read remaining of post-

a double chairman makes rare or even no appearance in the shadows of vulgarities. so why am i doing this? want to know why? it's because of her. zuchiri, stab me so that i can die.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


Bob Marley is sure inspirational. His music styles make me lean back but the lyrics give the song a two side type. One being relaxed and delivering an important message to the ears.

Got 22nd for x-country. No, that's not TAF Club cos Mr Au Yong said i am out... MAN! It's my ranking for overall... so yea... a bit shocked as i was expecting 30+ and a bit dissapointed cos i didn't get any medal this yr


My ALICE competition is coming up very soon. So i better install ALICE back into my windows aka windi! lols!

well i'm gonna blog again later. i'm tired and wanna sleep. darn KFC... opened at my cc... GEEZ! THEY ARE KILLING THE CHICKEN! ANIMAL DISCRIMINATION!!!

i kept looking at her...

Monday, May 21, 2007

Angel Girl

YAWN.... look at the time and probably, you will ask about my run. Well fellas, i didn't run today. In fact, i overslept! it must be that soup i had. yea... it must be that soup. I had an etiquette course today. basically it was just all on how to hold your knife, spoon. what type of spoon to use for the soup. ETC. ETC. seriously, it was a nice trip! i didn't know that all of these really exist and for one thing, there's a school especially for this kind of stuff. now that's nice. being able to learn about how to be a waiter/waitress and chef. now that's a new career to pursue. for me, it doesn't matter which course i go. as long as i make ppl happy! x) you know, i sat beside Angel Girl during that lunch. she does smile a lot!

enough abt that, i'm really hyped abt tmmr's x-country. GEEZ... 4.8 km of terror gravel and [let's hope it dosen't rain ah] pounded ground by 4 legged horses! [it's at turf city where once all the horse races were held] 4.8 is like doing your 2.4 twice but the deal is that i must have a consistent speed. having not practice 4.8 before, or rather i was out of breath when i did, i am having doubts abt my gold in TAF Club. well life has their times of glory and times of bad stuff, we must get a fair share of both! SO NO MATTER HOW FAST I GO, I WON'T STOP!!!!

i'll do it for her.

Free From Safety

I just want to say that i'm tired from running. Running after you. You were like my sister. Your voice healed my wounds. Your will brought me up from the depths of despair. I even trusted you with my secrets.

I even told you i have a crush on you.

Shunned by you and the people behind perfect, i tripped. But i still want you. So i run. I run after you. I don't know whether i'll reach you. As my future unbalances itself and topples, i still run. I don't care whether it'll take my life. All i want to do is to make you happy. sometimes, i wish you could read my mind.

hate me miss...

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Freed By Running

My timing sucks.
Run 1 - 10.51
Run 2- 11.25
Run 3-
Run 4-

Geez... 2 more runs before my Cross Country at Turf City... RAH!!!

Friday, May 18, 2007

Blogger's back!

First up, i would like to welcome back blogger after a bug-ful break! Welcome back!

I must bring up that blogger has added a new feature. That is the auto save feature that really helps me as my DSL will die out without warning. Hooray for blogger!

Also, i would like to add that i'm in a bad shape. Drowned in sorrow and in my own expectations, i'm gasping for air. Unable to swim, i'm pulled down by my own weight into the depths to the ocean. Now that defied physics! I don't care about that now. I just want a hand. You know, you could pull me out of this dirty water. It's your face that i dream. It's your words that i yearn for. Your graceful movements hinder my mind from the thought of anyone else. But all i ask is your understanding. I can't keep you out of my mind.

I just love you.

My mac is white. It's just an object and it has no feelings. I must bring it up that it was my emotions that caused this to happen. And if i don't find peace, I find you. But you are drifting away. In the end i find Kaz. Heartless must not be the only answer.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

life support

break me open. i have no more reasons to stay. Ans also, i'm a nuisance. i'm problematic and never worth you time. i'm just a ghost.

eng -passed
e.maths -passed
physics -failed
chemistry -failed
m.t -passed
hist -failed

3 more to go. i guess i'll say goodbye.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

why do microsoft be bad to his rivals?!

Check it out! Windows Live Mail is out! YEAH!!! You can expect faster speeds and a better layout!

But... i got this when i used my MAC'S FIREFOX. Dang it!

So why must be they be evil!!! ARGH!!! I heard from togusa that his blogger got a bug. I looked at his blog and guess what. HE'S USING FIREFOX!!! My IE is running well with blogger. No bugs.


The Live Mail was fine on IE. RAH!!!

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

My Albulm

Photobucket Album


so tired from all the studying. in fact i did lesser studying this time. i'm totally in no mood. i got reglay on my tail because i pisst him off. kaz is calling me a betrayer of the code. i just ignore his little code thingy. i think he's going crazy. and finally, i got people complaining that my blog is emo. -.- i know... i'm not suppose to be emo... but it's the in thing! i don't to be left out saying what i did in the day! that's so old!

well generally, i've got lesser people to talk to. especially when i did a HUGE disfavour by not talking to them. Kaz tells me that it's because i betrayed the code. Kaz, shut up. no more codes. yes i betrayed them but she will still not talk to me even if i didn't betray. so shut up Kaz

tomorrow will give me 2 more papers. after which, i have 2 more and that's the end. Kaz would be bugging me again and reglay would just sit there and tell me how life would be better if i had been better. complains... life will not end just yet. i've got this AEM thing by NP and i'm sure it'll eat my brains out. The teacher beside the library has no idea that i'm troubled. well that's good, i don't want her to know. but the teacher at that corner... i want her to know that i'm ignoring her.

well there comes my troubles again. i must realise my goal or else i'll forever in dispair. just don't talk to her. but i love her too much.

Monday, May 07, 2007

we don't talk anymore...

just give me a shock to remember and i'll sure remember it. what i remember now is that we don't talk anymore. it was me who stopped talking. don't take it wrong. it's just that we have nth to talk about. not that i have a problem with you. nth's wrong. it's just that we don't talk anymore.

so i hope you are ok. i hope you are happy and i hope that you are having a great time without me. i admit that i miss you but it can't be help. if my heart has to run away to keep the distraction away, i guess i'll be heartless. i must be really be pisst of from this distraction because i never liked being heartless.

but it's not that i don't love you. it's just that we don't really get to speak. i don't speak. that's all.