Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The True Rough Landing

I've just finished marking 2 English comprehension papers I attempted last week. In response of the tight schedule, I've kicked in more slots for my practice, especially with my disadvantageous position. I'm neither high in the social ladders of English command but neither am I part of the roots below. But to mush of my surprise, I got disappointing marks upon totalling up my marks. I just couldn't believe my eyes. I would have figured an easy score of AT LEAST a pass. Honestly, I failed both papers. My answers reflected my lack of understanding of the passage. I had vague and shallow responses. My ideas were over-developed and are being in the know of assuming.

This was just too much. I have to admit, I didn't really expect my language skills to sink like a rock.

Battered by much low morale and bruised so deep, it inches closer to a scar. I feel devastated but do you expect me to let this pain overwhelm me? No, I must embrace my strings that will pull me together. I must request Ms Seah for help. Yes, I do feel it's a bit inappropriate after my disappearing act for the past year and a half. I do feel guilty for insulting her. I do feel bad. So that's why I wish to request for her assistance. She has the right to reject it. Though it will accompany a laugh from her. : ) So I must ask for her assistance. I MUST.

Monday, September 29, 2008

I've Got A Long Way To Run

When the road you're took is covered by a strange mist, you stop dead in your tracks. Your heart is like beats of a song that plays through your life of surprises. In every corner, you wonder what expect the unexpected. In every step, you cautiously take as so not to hurt anything. In every breathe, you take as though it was your last. In everything you do, you believe that God can explain.

A standstill is achieved when you both lost your cause and hope. It is extremely rare to have these two important figures, disappear from your life. Like splitting an atom, this is unspeakable.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

I should be a FAUX PAS!

I have completed a set of E.Maths, a set of Paper 2 English Language and a guided History SEQ. Sigh, I'm far from my goal for today. I've set it in excitement of yesterday's accomplishment to an extent that I've forgotten the limits of a mortal human. Currently, I am planning to complete my remaining set of instructions by tonight.

1 English Essay + 1 Compre
1 Maths P1 + P2
1 Sci Phy Paper
1 Sci Chem Paper
1 MT Letter + P2
1 S.S. SBQ + SEQ

All together now, I'm down with a total of 10 PAPERS from 6 different subjects. Considering the fact that on average a normal paper is to be done in an hour and 45 mins. [Though Maths might need more time.] Multiply that by 6 and I will be shaving almost 11 hours off my life. And they say a night consists of 12 hours. SIGH. And let's not forget the other work I must finish by coming Tuesday.

Tomorrow will come with me. I will open the doors with a big smile and a 'good morning' brighter than the sun! I have to check my Maths with Ms Lee. Maybe I could ask her some assistance after school? That is if she's ok. I'll hand in my comprehension and maybe the essay. That's if I don't do it in softcopy. She did say that I should upload it onto the IVLE. Let's look at my things to do list.

1 Eng Essay + 1 Eng Compre
1 Maths P1 + P2
1 S.S. SBQ


1 MT P1 + P2
1 Sci Phy Paper
1 Sci Chem Paper

After I've finished my primary objectives, I can proceed with the other work. GREAT! SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Hearts Burst Into Fire





THANK YOU!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

I'd Rather Kill Myself

In no way, no way at all, will I get her back. She doesn't think of me like she used too 2 years ago. And this worries me. This was the reason why I halted. I can't move on knowing that there's a hole in my heart. I don't like it that she won't be speaking the same way she did a long time. It was my fault anyway.

That's ehy I'd rather die.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Left A Part Of Me On The Toys

Share my plight of distinguishing between right and wrong. Something so easily decided but seems a challenge to debate it over. It's not taking part in something, or not even taking part. It's giving something up.

I took some time to sort out my ignored toys. I figured that they are better off with someone who cares about them instead of chucking them at a corner in a dust-prone cardboard box. Crammed like a can of sardines, I too will share their plight. And so, with Mdm Jaya launching 'Toys From The Heart' program [a spin off from the Food From The Heart], my counterparts will find better treatment. All is well until I sat down and ponder...

The only problem is that I left a part of me in every toy I saw. Everything sent me back to the days when I was 1.65 tall. Encapsulated in a world of my own where ordinary things come to life, these toys were my people. No. They ARE my people. They grew a part of me. The toys I felt giving away, cried for my reconsideration. They want to share this.

But it's for their own good. Someone out there, will learn this toy and treasure it just like I did. [Just adding some flower-ry language here] Or at least better than me. Don't want to see it in a dumpster and the dejavu Toy Story feeling to come up. I want to give what I can to society. A kid needs a companion, like everyone else. But I am old enough. I have been accompanied far long enough. I must stand by myself and let the young nurture with their new companions.

So far, I was only able to let go 10% of the toys I intended to give. So much memories are at stake here. Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. A part of me will be yours young one. Show me how to live, Mother.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Communication Breakdown

A big THANKS to my big brother for giving me a $50 Robinsons voucher. I think he is indirectly saying that I should get my fashion sense checked. Haha. Yeah, my imprudent fashion sense has landed me in a a cross over of a hippie and a business man. And my brother seems to be right. Talk about collateral damage. His wardrobe is ever expanding. He's a ladies' man. He shares the same passion of clothes. SIGH.

Well, got myself some new clothes. Somehow, I always get mixed up with the many different terminologies of fashion. I guess that's of no surprise coming from a runway disaster. It is safe to say that I got myself a set of business casual clothes but I sincerely doubt the business orientation of my set. No seriously, I'd rather call it smart casual.

Just look at this mess! The things humankind do to appease the world. But hey, image is indeed everything. The first impression determines your starting point but it's a tad bit unfair don't you think? But we can't really defy this rule. It's hard, if not, impossible to sit on a fence. Both theorectically and metaphorically. Oh the world, why have we become such a stereotype?!

Anyway, I thought I could lure my parents into buying me an iPod Touch. (No evil intentions here!) I NEED IT. It's my jogging companion, my emo buddy, my Safari and the best of all, it's my music. But with a $500 price tag, it's really a jaw dropper. Hey, THEORECTICALLY, the price has dropped. I could illustrate but now, my bed is calling me. Oh waiit, now the restroom is calling me. Owww...

Will post pics soon!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008


Ahem... Good morning...

Going to work for this baby.

And, even if I didn't go for my English classes, I know this is wrong..

C'MON Apple!

Monday, September 08, 2008


Wow. I got up after my short nap, washed my face and put on my jogging shoes and before you know it, I was running my 2.4. I finished the run in 11 minutes and 24.89 seconds. Considering my hiatus for about 3 months, I think it's still in shape. Cool.

I have been getting weird dreams lately. I had one last night. It was pretty strange as the things that happened don't really add up. It was like an auditorium with a stage in front. There seems to be a performance of some sort. I saw my primary school teacher across the aisle. The nest thing I knew, I was looking at the banner that was hung on top. I can only see the year 2009 imprinted on it. At first glance, I thought it was a farewell party for the primary 6 graduating students but why am I in it! Haha. Maybe it's a sign? Maybe it's true, I might be retaining.

And during the nap. I had another strange dream. It's pretty washed by now. I think it was about me in a Mac's with Dax. I think we were rushing to the exit. We saw the Oswald from SSL 4NA eating. Said hi. Disturbed me. And the next thing I knew, I was outside. We chased a departing bus and Dax quickly flagged for a taxi. The last thing I knew was that I was going all negative on Dax about wasting money on taxies.

Haha. Weird dreams alright. Strangely enough, I've dreamt about these dreams before. The auditorioum felt REALLY familiar. The bus scene seems like the one outside my block. It has similar small hills and the night sky was freakishly familiar. Anyway, dreams can mean 2 things. It is the brain's progress to recollect things, a time for it to organise my thoughts. OR, it could be a sign of the near future.

Well, one dream really got me startled. As a door was swinging its closure, my eyes saw her and I said, "I love you." The door closed, like fate cutting every string of the future.

She Hates Me.

You can feel it around you. Yeah, ok whatever. She hates me. She doesn't walk past me. When I try to look at her, a warm disgusting feeling comes up from my stomach, it's as though I stand guilty for her tears.

And she's not the only one. SHE could, or rather should, hate me. I've lost all my edge, my confidence, my faith, my trust, myself. I've lost myself. I don't think SHE wants to talk to me.

Well, I'm just assuming here. But these assumptions are quite good. I have never failed to amaze myself, let alone surprise. I have reasons to believe, that she and SHE will not...

Man, this sounds so freaking unprofessional. Fuck man.

On another note, I want to say to everyone that I don't think I can pull this thing off. Yeah, a lot of them said that too. It's too late. It's too slow. It's too bad.

I'm going to fail finally, achieving what the world really think about me.

7th floor anyone?

Sunday, September 07, 2008


Yes? What? Huh? I woke up this morning to my Mom's mighty voice for a 'pre-dawn' meal. I guess if it's post-dawn, they call it breakfast. Of course, my fasting period has started. Nothing different this time only that I feel I owe something to society if I keep forgetting about my To Do List. Long and behold, in that very list, I am suppose to discuss about giving up seats?

I dug up a still sealed and ,obviously, new DVD recorder in hopes of my last nights' disappointment. I wanted to watch Clear And Present Danger on Ch5 BUT MY MOM FORCED ME TO SLEEP. And so, the debate of whether I should get a DVD recorder. Untill I realised my Dad won it a few months back.

I think he got it at his Retirement Dinner. I ALSO think that the DVD recorder symbolises the fond memories of his work! :) Anyway, I tried to rig it up on the living room's TV. Went through the manual and found a few potential words that should be in a vocabulary test. Sigh. Technology and its terms.




I thought it was called a FireWire 800? Old times I guess. But that was not the problem. With Google on hand, anything is possible.

Upon pondering for a couple of minutes with this LG DR165, I finally got the hard ball. It only works with antennas, NOT cable.

I mean c'mon, who the HECK watches free-to-air channels nowadays! Wait, before you spam me, I might be wrong here. But seriously, with US into digital tv, (another potential in my vocab test) and Singtel flaunting Mio TV, WHY CAN'T WE JUST GET CABLE?

Enough rants.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008


I'm feeling tired. REALLY TIRED for doing nothing. Just came out of my school's library. I gotta admit, my school is not really tackling the 'crisis'. I guess we are not viewing it correctly. The world is running out of *ahem* fossil fuels and a way to reduce our intake is to reduce our usage of our electrical items. (Burn fossil fuels heats water to steam which help turn turbines that power our electrical items) No seriously. IT WAS FREAKISHLY COLD IN THE LIBRARY! C'mon! I glanced onto the control panel and the thermostat showed it's coldest. Sigh

Now, i'm in a Mac's... Glancing on top, I see a sign that says: "Dear Students, please refrain from studying here." And what do I get? Yeap, students from all schools, actually primarily from nearby Cedar Sec and SAJC. Anyway, thery are all studying here! Well, let's look back at the notice. "Please refrain..." It's not suggesting that students cannot use these premisses for their studying. In addition, it says not to study during periods of dense activity such like a public holiday where many would want a Mac meal. Haha.

Anyway, i need to rush off now, losing too much batt! See ya!