Saturday, March 29, 2008

Save Mother Earth

I was sorting out the mail that have been building up in my closet since last year. From the sights of it, I am missing some mail. Sigh. Anyway, I was digging into the envelopes and this is what I found.

It's a pamphlet by SingTel promoting their new service in a bid to save unstable environment. The feel of the paper is rough, suggesting that it's recycled. It's good to see major companies like SingTel trying to save the Earth. I'm sure other companies will soon follow suit.

But the problem is not how effective a solution is, it's how many people has taken in effect. Just imagine, SingTel's market share of BROADBAND alone is at 54.7%. This makes them at the lead with 391,000 subscribers. Now, imagine SingTel printing 4 paged bills to EACH AND EVERY ONE of them EVERY MONTH. Unspeakable. Now, that's only the broadband sector. What about the mobile, mio tv and many of 'final reminder' letters to pay your bill? Trust me, it's A LOT. And now, to see them promoting paperless bills, it's a good start. But of course, not all will take in consideration.

Let's take a look at paperless billing, You have access of your bills 24/7 so long there is an internet connection. You can change your account settings, apply for other services and pay through on line banking. The catch? You gotta know how to use the computer. In Singapore, with the elderly population rising, not many know how to switch on the computer. So maybe, or rather I propose, Singapore should either increase the IT skills of at least 1 member of each household OR just make paying bills much, MUCH more easier. The latter is highly praised. For it will make one centralised billing and we can track our payments. Ladies and gentlemen, I call upon, INTEGRATION.

Catch you later homies, I gotta go school!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Are We The Waiting?

Today is a lazy day. I have plans to pay my respects to a Keramat. It's sort of a 'tomb' of the Islamic Saint Wali Habib Noh. It's located just beside a Chinese temple off Palmer Street. Usually, this place would be crowded with our fellow preachers. I think today, people are dead tired. Speaking of which, I am SO DEAD BEAT by my OBS course. 3 words: Exhausted, Wet and Wild. You guys know me, the last vocabulary is a must. My family paid our respects to thank for my brother's successful driving test that, of course, is in our favour. A few wise words by the priest himself and off we go to the Singapore Flyer!!! 


It was rather a last minute decision to go there. I never thought I would go there but my brother somehow persuaded my parents just to take a ride. HAH! Take a look at my pictures at my Flickr. I'm uploading now.

Check out my previous post on OBS. UNFORGETTABLE! 

On a final note, I got some things in mind to buy. GEEZ. Should I think of material gain or emotional closure? I mean I can't even get close to her? Help anyone?

Saturday, March 22, 2008

For courage is the product of our fears

For courage is the fear of our fears, a fearless person is a no one. That no one has any courage for he has no fear to challenge.

Outward Bound Singapore (OBS) challenged us to serve, to strive and not to yield. So we accepted that challenge that contests our fear. Much hearsay we hear of which one will endure many pain and suffering. Much hearsay we hear that one will be pushed to the limit. However, there is no hearsay that we not fear but we still take that fear on.

We stand as a watch of Raleigh as one people. We set the tents, we cooked together, we kayaked together and we even peed together! Though each and every one of us are not perfect. As a group, we cover each other’s flaws and became perfect. No challenge is too big for us. Every undertaking is never incomplete. We are Raleigh. Our path has been chosen. Courage will seep into our blood and run into our hearts. As we defeat our fears just like light slaughtered darkness, we never let go of each other. Hop and hop we go. That is no problem. Trek and trek we go. That is no problem. Carry and carry we go. The heaviest burden is our bag but at the back of our minds, it’s a feather. And into the woods of no return for we always think that we are a step closer to the destination. Finally we met our sleep, beside a reservoir.

Have rice, sardines and curry under that night sky. Though it is nothing what Mom has cooked, it tasted like a feast after all that sweat. Accompanied with a map of stars over our heads, they became our chandeliers. We are not alone. 3 more watches came: Raffles, Tenzing and Shakleton.

Day 2. We see a tall man, over towering us at 25 metres tall. That man is strong for it can hold many men together as the climbed to his head. So, are we ready to climb that man? Strapped with the double-backed harness, we never stop climbing the heights, as that is the fear. I reached the top but many didn’t. I will support them so that they will plant their flags up high so that it could gather as much wind. Kayak is a small boat that resides 1 or more person. We will use that word forever more. It will be our life for that coming two days as we ravage the seas with our pedals to Sembawang. But, before we could even see Singapore. We must taste seawater. TX Training is where one will capsize to keep a float. For if we don’t learn, it’s hard to survive in the harsh seas. Shermit, my friend, the sea may be harsh but if you respect him, he will respect you. Tents are easy but with sand in your shoes, you feel like walking on knives. That night we sleep to gather as much strength to cut the 15KM of waves. Sembawang will be our next rest.

Morning came with a shiver. Even the thickest clothes will not kill that cold. No worries my Raleigh, for a cold will not defeat us. Only that sea is a fear, a challenge, which we must overcome. As we hear it taunts us with its waves crashing the rocks. It is nothing. We don our life jackets and head out for the gruelling 7 hour trip.

Enough, the seas we knew ravaged. People did their business in the sea. Some used it as their shower, as their bed but must of all as our medium. Alas, rain came and gave no mercy as water filled our boats. We couldn't see the distant land in front of us. All of a sudden, fear started to grip us as we held onto each other boats as tightly as possible. But that deter us never as it started to recede, our armada set our bearings once again onto Sembawang. Nonetheless, we made it as 4 watches combined as ECHO. One.

Oh yeah, I lost my undies in Sembawang! ARGH!

A dinner with curry chicken is all I need to replace the lost energy. Strange. Echo will be assigned to watch the boats over at the sea. With an hour and a half slots catered, RALEIGH took the second slot. Waking up to the task was really hard and SHIVER. With my other companions, four more, we patrolled the area. Like the police, they looked out for Mr Selamat. "I chatter, chatter." WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT BRYAN!? Morning came with evidence of sleep deprivation but give me an hour and all energy is restored. Ready, packed and courageous, the morning breeze send chills down my spine but I will stand undeterred! With a bag full of wet clothes, I pulled my RALEIGH together and readied ourselves for many waves. 

What was 7 hours we took, only 2 remained to kill us. WTF!!! Mr Gao did his erm, business, in the sea. Dang, it floated. There goes my lunch! Watched the boats, made a stand as SA boys. We peed, shit, and do things together. Sometimes we don't think for we are pure power! With much time shaved, we got a deserving 3 hours of rest. Dried my clothes, bathed and refreshed, this last night will be a blast! Last night in a tent. *Sniff, sniff*

Let's make it short for many hate a long post. I AM ALWAYS HIGH! Haekal flashed himself TWICE to Sonne and Gughan. Disturbed kid. We 'taopoked' Ashwin, Haekal and Gughan. Forgive my spelling my lads. HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAF! Thurs' was my instructor's birthday! Had a feast of food. A near close shave with Sonne almost in harm's way. But best of all, more space to sleep! 

On the last day, where we will say our goodbyes. Even after the wash of our equipment, we were a team. From Raleigh: Hairul, Hafiz, Dwi, Shikin, Shermit, Jia Ying, Lorenzo, Rahim, Bryan, Sonne, Edwin, Jerome, Jeremy, Haekal, Jian Beng. From Raffles: Afika, Ashwin, Alvin, Hue, Joe, Taufiq. From Shakleton: Venessa, Alastair. From Tenzing: Dax, Rajah.

Forgive me if I didn't include you. If I ever forget your  name, your face is imprinted in my head forever and that friendship I will keep forever. I am sorry that I didn't took enough time to know you better but someday we will meet again. These memories are safe inside me. 

Forever Fuchun. Forever St Andrew's. Forever Raleigh. And remember SA, stop putting Prickly Heat powder into our dicks!

Friday, March 14, 2008

Don't Think Of Her!!!

Need to preoccupy myself with this messy table!


Haiz, looks like the floor is my table too.

Monday, March 10, 2008

No Emotions Please.

it's vital to express yourself. It is the only way you're going to tell others around you what you are. It is the first step of being yourself. I mean, would you live in a life of lies? However, sometimes, you shouldn't express yourself. Especially when you know that what you are sharing will hurt others. That's why I say to all you crying out there: No Emotions Please.

I am no supporter of communism. I am just thrilled that someone of such mind exists that is able to give a whole new meaning of unity. Generally, that ideology reinforces my fact to keep away emotions. Look at their rules: No freedom of speech. Oppositions killed. Everyone is same. Looking at Russia, where it was once in a abyss of civil unrest, it now stands as one of the greatest country. So are we, a one-man country, able to garner a better yield from our own version of communism?

But that's not my point. For all I care, you don't need to be a communist to become the best. Just keep your emotions in when you know it's going to hurt someone. Especially those around you. Remember that.


Saturday, March 08, 2008


I just came back from a Foot Reflexology Shop that dates back to about 6 years ago. From what I can remember, I started visiting (with my parents of course) when I was in Primary 3. Then the shop, which was a family business, closed down. However, one of the brothers continued on. He opened a shop at Toa Payoh. [It's near the TP's NLB]

Well yeah. That's what I think happened.

ANYWAY, with his aerobic hands, he massaged my legs and hands. That's obvious. Surprisingly, he knew at once of my sweaty palms and feet. [Sensitive skin of his??] Also, he noticed that I had suffered a pain at the back of mt right knee joint. Yeah, whenever I kick, there's this stretching pain at that precise place. Overall, he said that I should avoid cold drinks [point taken] and maybe relax a bit from the soccer scene. [that's not a problem] Thankfully, he didn't say anything about me NOT running. After all, I had ran yesterday and apart from the thigh muscles expressing some discontent from the fats, the pain wasn't present or any pain for that matter.


Oh, my parents, getting on the nerves of me! WHAT THE HECK! C'mon Zul! Please understand that they are old and in need of special care! I mean of course i know that. I'm just psst off that my parents aren't understanding each other! ARGH! Oh wait, maybe this is WHAT THEY ARE. Can't change their attitude man. Sigh.

I must be patient with them. Maybe think through the things I'm going to do. Then, do it. Remember, that!

Ah FUCK You.

Ok, I'm pretty much beat up. My teacher had scolded me yesterday for... erm... 'refusing to conform with the work she gave'. Mrs Charles, my SAS Principal, gave me the I-can't-believe-you-are-not-doing-good-in-your-studies look when I met her on my way back on Thursday. Finally, my parents don't think I'm doing my best.


So many things to fix, yet so little effort to use. I don't know what is happening to me. I am starting to skip classes, ignoring authorities, reacting to a way that is unbecoming of me and worst of all, being rude. It's just the same as last year. My grades went haywire and my ability to focus just disappeared as though it was never there. I'm getting sick of this. Probably because the sight from the other side is something I'm not used to. Oh crap, I probably going to die from this.

No. I don't want to die like this. Who cares about her man! I don't need her! But wait, where's mu humanity to just leave her in dust? Okus-Komunisme was a total failure. Looks like my 'inability' to conform also stretches to my correction attempts. I know that I'm trapped in people's expectations. Everyone is expecting me to be what they want. But when they see me break down, they just shake their heads. A few offer their hands and less than that pulled me out of the quicksand. I can't continue like this. I mean, I'll probably die on this side. I rather get killed that side.

You know what I mean?

I need to apologize to Ms Lee first. Then, I need to know whether I should skip her class. Yeah, I ain't ready. In the mean time, I favour A.Maths to be my cutting edge. At least finish the homework. Then maybe, go for a run. Erm, should I sms Ms Lee 'sorry' or should I find her on Monday?

And fuck you, Zleg. Give back my sword. I ain't perfect. Let it tattoo on me.

Friday, March 07, 2008

You gotta go there to come back.

Focus lost. Blunt by emotions. Staying still.

No help please. Just INFLUENCE me.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Hostilities... Yeah right!

I once told a teacher of mine, even though he didn't taught me and he has long since wore a teaching hat, that I live my life with a metaphorical believe. It means that for things I do and have done, I accompany it with a metaphor. Pretty direct. For example, I always say that the 'pen is mightier than the sword'. That's how I motivate myself to study more. Granted, I do have other methods to motivate me into that deep thought of inclining surrealism; STUDYING. Spooky.

I see that my previous post was such an emotional one. Sad to read it. Boo hoo. In any rate, we can safely conclude that any man who isn't emotional is such a heartless foe. A foe for he will be the only black sheep. Just like me, the only Malay in my class. Haiz. I'm listening to John Butler Trio's music. I like how he uses his guitar to create one of a king riffs. It's not those rock riffs but more of a folk kind. Lyrical wise, they sing with a metaphorical believe. =D

Ranting is not my choice of conversing. I enjoy a good conversation over tea and kaya toasts. A weird mix but it helps. BUT I must warn you, I'm only a man of a few words. Perhaps to most of you and obviously her. In fact, I can't stand up to look at her anymore. I guess I have one less person to talk to. I still remember the times I talk to her. It was wonderful. I would always look forward to talk to her. Now, I'm considered the son of a fool. Or rather the fool. I always relish the fact that I adore her. I don't mind what others say. She is perfect. But now, I am left as a fool. I made a foolish mistake that took a fool, me, down the abyss of foolishness. What a fool. 

And so I leave this post in something I always wanted to say, don't follow me, I'm going down. SUGAR! WE ARE GOING DOWN!!!