Saturday, March 08, 2008

Ah FUCK You.

Ok, I'm pretty much beat up. My teacher had scolded me yesterday for... erm... 'refusing to conform with the work she gave'. Mrs Charles, my SAS Principal, gave me the I-can't-believe-you-are-not-doing-good-in-your-studies look when I met her on my way back on Thursday. Finally, my parents don't think I'm doing my best.

Sigh.

So many things to fix, yet so little effort to use. I don't know what is happening to me. I am starting to skip classes, ignoring authorities, reacting to a way that is unbecoming of me and worst of all, being rude. It's just the same as last year. My grades went haywire and my ability to focus just disappeared as though it was never there. I'm getting sick of this. Probably because the sight from the other side is something I'm not used to. Oh crap, I probably going to die from this.

No. I don't want to die like this. Who cares about her man! I don't need her! But wait, where's mu humanity to just leave her in dust? Okus-Komunisme was a total failure. Looks like my 'inability' to conform also stretches to my correction attempts. I know that I'm trapped in people's expectations. Everyone is expecting me to be what they want. But when they see me break down, they just shake their heads. A few offer their hands and less than that pulled me out of the quicksand. I can't continue like this. I mean, I'll probably die on this side. I rather get killed that side.

You know what I mean?

I need to apologize to Ms Lee first. Then, I need to know whether I should skip her class. Yeah, I ain't ready. In the mean time, I favour A.Maths to be my cutting edge. At least finish the homework. Then maybe, go for a run. Erm, should I sms Ms Lee 'sorry' or should I find her on Monday?

And fuck you, Zleg. Give back my sword. I ain't perfect. Let it tattoo on me.

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