Sunday, February 25, 2007

not good

i'm unfair. i'm hating her because she ignores me. i'm hating her to forget her. whenever i hate her, the guilt is so intense that it feeds the will to hate her. so much so that i hate her more. it has been a week and i look back. i ask myself, why do i hate her? why? my eyes wont shed a tear but my heart bleeds openly. i'm losing my grip and losing her.

why do i hate her?

Friday, February 23, 2007

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my pain that i bear is different... it's not suitable to be even called pain... a low life class that anyone could overcome this pain... so why can't i? has the sight of her plague me? my knees become weak and my heart dies to see her broken hearted. i take it so hard. i need to talk. it pains me. let me cry...

into the ocean, end it all

Monday, February 19, 2007

kikkikikikik

MAN! i'm in no mood to do my hw lah... i love to SLACK!!! i kno i kno, i shouldnt slack...well i just want to relax one corner and clear my mind....i told myself it's better to clear my heart instead...it's full of impurities...i think i'm gonna cool off at irc...LAN HERE I COME!

Sunday, February 18, 2007

invisible knives

shoot to kill.

strange eh? the guns of the west will write the future. the actions made by none of us will kill us. so what do we do?

nothing.

tainted but not impure. we are bad. but we are never evil.

Friday, February 16, 2007

Thursday, February 15, 2007

i loathe the sight of it

First thing first, TOGUSA says that Valentine's Day is for couples only...WTF? dude...here's a bit of wiki-ing... read through those things and i bet [cannot bet...tsk] promise there's one or two about Valentine's Day for friends...!!!

Freaking not fair man! I had the English Common Test today. I'm sure I have flunked it. Firstly, the time given was so much lesser! I had to finish an editing passage, a guided cloze [geez, my school is still giving GUIDED cloze passages...] and the standard comprehension with a 150-word summary! Believe it or not, i had to do this all under 1 hour. 45 minutes lesser than the Final Year Paper which consisted THE SAME FORMAT!!! [oh wait, my Final Year was missing the guided cloze] This is obviously UNFAIR!

But look at the other side, the passage was easy to understand. The editing cloze and the guided cloze could be done under 20 minutes. BUT WHO CARES! What care now is the fact that i'm going to fail...

I left 2 blanks in the cloze. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME??? I had the opportunity to do it earlier but i totally ignored that.

And why's that stupid prefect boasting about! SHUT UP! You've been repeating that stupid fact for ages now. It poisons my heart. now i'm thoughtless...hoping for a blank heart instead.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

i'll give you my heart

today was normal. better than yesterday. i'm trying to give my throat a rest. it's sore after talking loads of cock to my lame friends... [or is it me?] somehow, i like to talk. but i like to talk cock things. and that may disturb someone which leads to hate. haiz... life is so complicated.

i just had my Eng/A and E Maths tution. wthell man...1.5 hours of information all stuffed in my brain. but at least it's not some boring subject that puts me to sleep. i cant say hist will put me to sleep because the teacher can never be boring...it's the same with SS. an SS is in an air-conditioned room...

i am suppose to study my e.maths and hist/ss now. but i want to blog first. there too many things on my mind now. i think i'm a bad friend. 2 birthdays have passed n i've yet to buy them anything. fyi, i'm the sorta timid one. always scared. nvr want to be bold. it just doesn't match up. i talk a lot but i don't want to let people know. And if i did, i'll be boasting instead. no wonder i'm bad friend. do you guys think so?

RAHHH! life is so harsh.

tmmr's valentine day. [and how sad...tmmr is my CT too... T_T] i hope you guys had someone in mind rite now. someone special...i do have someone in mind. i do take her special but does she take me special? it's hard to say. she's kind to everyone...not too kind...[tsk..like me...] i don't know how to continue...if i say what's on my mind now, i'll for sure break some hearts. AND THAT'S THE THING I'LL NEVER DO! [i did break hers...] lets hope i got the guts to give her chocolates tmmr...

i hope...

= (

Monday, February 12, 2007

cold.play

i'm not feeling right. i've been through a lot and the fact that i failed disturbs me. i want to talk. but i'm so scared. i can't cry. i want to talk to you. can i? what about her? my heart feels like it's dissolving as each second passes. nothing really making sense no more. i want to try to talk to her. i'll try. i'll try to fix it.

i'm weak. i'm stupid, landing myself in 3SB where many thought i would be in 3SA. also to be overrun by my own complacency and over-confidence that has, now, let me to my knees. beaten but still breathing.

T_T

Thursday, February 08, 2007

bre.ak

everything's hard. sometimes i just want to go blind and make everything would go away. i wanna cry but the tears wont come out. i am lame. it's my morphin to these things. there's no feeling but it's still eating my heart. i'm slipping away. i find it hard to breathe as i fell. the floor is so cold. and i still cant cry.

but he threw me a cane.

and he smiled. the smile i wanted. the smile i wanted everyone to bear. a smile that will clear any unevenness in their life. a smile i wished for all of you. but i cant smile anymore. afterall, he did threw me my sword.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Intro: Malays

It is a fact that the Malay students are the lowest passes between the 4 main ethnic groups. They are graded the lowest among the 4 ethnic groups in the numbers passed in 'O' Level. In 2004, only 59.3% of the Malay students sat for the 'O' Level Examinations attained at least 5 'O' Level passes compared to an 86.5% passed by the chinese. This means an average of C6 is needed to pass. Eventhough the number is increasing each year, the Malay Community could do much more to rid this.
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it's decided. i'm going to put my blog as well the blog, the robo meetings blog and also the eng compo post. [sth like doing yur compo para by para but each para in one post] the thing is, all of these fell under reflections. and my teacher advises my class to do more reflections. i think it's a good idea to reflect. it helps yur eng as well. that is if i have no errors!

Intro: Malays

It is a fact that the Malay students are the lowest passes between the 4 main ethnic groups. They are graded the lowest among the 4 ethnic groups in the numbers passed in 'O' Level. In 2004, only 59.3% of the Malay students sat for the 'O' Level Examinations attained at least 5 'O' Level passes compared to an 86.5% passed by the chinese. This means an average of C6 is needed to pass. Eventhough the number is increasing each year, the Malay Community could do much more to rid this.
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it's decided. i'm going to put my blog as well the blog, the robo meetings blog and also the eng compo post. [sth like doing yur compo para by para but each para in one post] the thing is, all of these fell under reflections. and my teacher advises my class to do more reflections. i think it's a good idea to reflect. it helps yur eng as well. that is if i have no errors!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

co.sm.o

i love the midnight stars. they glimmer on the still night sky forever. you may think all the stars are the same. after all, all of them look like shiny dots on the dark background. whatever it is, i just love the stars.

my hits are at 530 + ... T.T ... is it my boring posts or is it my lack of friends? but i dont really care abt the hits. as long as i can blog, i'm happy. i hate to keep things inside. i want to let it all go. maybe i'm just crazy.

i'm having sore eyes and i'm using the comp. crazy rite? i shld be resting now...i got 2 days of MC...so really dont care. i dont know if you all know this, i'm a person who always ruin things. like now, i'm killing my mac. installing crappy stuff and eventually it'll become a rotten apple...lol... no wonder i cant be trusted with a desktop...let alone a gaming rig. and look now...my router is losing itself. man...gotta have my line checked.

well even though i love writing, it doesnt mean i like to talk abt stuff. i shld have been the quiet type. well i'm gonna rest now. geez...

: )

Sunday, February 04, 2007

in.come

geez...my mom is diffinitely on my nerves. SHE WON'T LET ME OUT! ARGHHHH!!!!

i know she has problems but at least spare a thought for me... I'M GASPING FOR AIR HERE!!! she thinks she is the only one who has problems. HELLO! I HAVE PROBLRMS TOO! after all the cops did hate me...hehheheheh

man...am i being rude...geez...life sucks.

well i think i'm gonna miss vista fiesta...damm...i need that hard drive..

Saturday, February 03, 2007

suffer

i love everything i see. they fill the empty pieces i have and complete me. but that's my thought. not everything is true. false identity. false friendships. false heart. everything is false. how i wish there were fake lies.

i cant express myself. i dont know why. and i let this eat my heart. fueled by feelings, it'll never end. that's why i always detest the heart. it knows no limit of the pain. but if the heart was to be fixed, it'll bring the purest feelings in and will cleanse the heart of any sorrow. but now, i hate myself.

after all, i am the enemy of my own self.

Friday, February 02, 2007

#RD meeting

Real Plan of RoboMeeting:
-Sec 1s' to learn abt building
-Then they will stocktake 2 boxes in teams of 5
-Sec 2s' are to special stocktake the remaining boxes (stocktake by parts)
-Sec 3s' are eithere to help me in the presentation or stocktake

Procedure of meeting on the day itself:
-Presentation of building was carried out
-It was too long and boring
-My lame antics kept it frm being boring but...
-Sec 2s' and 3s' were not cooperating, they were noisy...always... and playing non-stop.
-Zamiq (helped me in presentation) was presenting it wrongly

Comments from Mdm Soh (my teacher in charge of RoboClub):
-Presentation was too long
-Stocktaking the box by the standard way is useless. They should do it by parts. Afterall, they
won't count all the parts
-We should ban all games. They will influence the Sec 1s' to play along
-Just give them a model robot. Tell them to copy that robot. Then on the spot just tell them
abt the pros and cons.

-Pair up the Sec 1s' with the Sec 2s' and Sec 1s'

My Admits on that day:
-I was too long abt the presentation
-Zamiq talks alot...and all of that are cock things
-i have a pehfu on zl rat grnpure

-i hate zrat lnat'f attitude
-i hate people who throw swords at me

What i'm going to do:
-Just show the Sec 1s' the line tracing robot and tell them to replicate the robot
-Talk abt it's fast gear system, type of tires, CG, size and the additional parts it has like rollers
-Gonna make the Sec 2s' do sth

ebg guvegrra