Saturday, December 29, 2007

: (

My parents don't really cared about me...

Best I Ever Had

Today wasn't really that nice. I started my day with an A.Maths Sup Paper. It's like a repeat of the Final Year Paper I sat but it's much easier. Well easier it is but no chance for me to get full marks! I got complacent and did not really practised much. Even so, I knew the method far too well but my limit in the type of questions were just to limited. So far, I think I could get about a pass or so? But that's SO much better than a fail! : )

My original schedule included a Robotics meeting afterwards at 11 (Since the 1 hour paper started at 10.) and then from 12 onwards, I would help out Ms Lee in painting her homeroom. That is if I felt like it. The afternoon before, Mr Ho hinted me that there would be our weekly badminton spar which then send my schedule topsy turvy. A papre at 10. A meeting at 11. A badminton spar at 9??? WHOA! I'm sure a busy man! Alas, I just had to drop the badminton spar. Gosh, it was supposedly the last match before 2007! Haha! How could I miss that match!? Well hopefully, we could once again play THE LAST TIME on mon? Whoa! That's the last day of the year!

School's just around the corner. With my calender flooded today, I know I would barely come back alive. And evermore that my O's are just next year, my calender is ever tighter. Maybe it's time to revise that 'calender-making-system'! I need to stay focus. I can't just dwell in my own world and slowly let time pass. I can't be distracted by her any more (I still do...). I can't let my own fears consume myself. I can't just TALK. I must start WORKING. I always get my mind off somewhere. It's really hard for me to stay focus especially when my house is like a war zone. In almost every second, I get distracted by a person that is close to me. (WHY??) And my performance, slowly slipping down the ranks. I can't let this go any further. I MUST STAY FOCUSED.

Regarding that person, I still like her. I really do. But if every time I see her, I close my shy eyes. But if every time I speak to her, I stutter. But if every time I think of her, I lose a breath. Then, avoiding her is impossible. After all, she's the best I ever had. I really...

1) Attain A1 for all subjects
2) At least talk to her W/O STUTTERING...
3) Get the class t-shirt done
5) Try not to talk a lot in class
6) Make the teachers happy???
7) Buy a desktop

My list will expand!!!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

My *wink*

Ah... Back from another useless venture. I went out with my parents out today after being threatened by my mom regarding my weekly allowance. Wait a min! I have a weekly allowance?! Anyway, she said that I had to buy myself another pair of pants. I don't mind that for the fact that you are paying for me but if you turn down almost every clothing I choose, there's a problem. To give you a bigger idea on what type of clothes she wants me to wear, err... She just wants me to wear formal. Again, I don't mind but EVERY SINGLE TIME I GO OUT??? I'm only 15! [But sure am going 30!] So in my flavour of social unrest, I barged into S&K, arrowed at the nearest pair and took it to the fitting room. Thankfully it fits! Grabbed it towards the counter and flashed 25 bucks for it. Now, there's a name for this type. Cargo pants they say! If you ask me, my cupboard is towered by Toa Payoh clothes. Don't understand? Go to Toa Payoh, there are plenty of examples. Well

that's my pair. Pretty ok. My parents? Nah, they said nth. I told them that I would search the clothes myself so I told them to walk around first. No harm there. But me, paying my own stuff. No jokes.

Nice stuff from Parkway Parade

Oh yeah! Heroes' Lunch!!!! Can't forget that. THE FOOD SUCKS! A lunch where your teachers are your waiters! EAT THAT! But with terrible food, don't bother coming. It's just a time dedicated for the students who did the school proud. Really? I just won 3rd! Anyway, I think it's just me hating the food.

Alastair seems hungry for more...


Eh? Only drinks?

Time to go ciao!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Are we back to square 1?

You know. This sucks a lot. I spent my holidays doing nothing. I only dream about that girl and never to ask her out. Like today, I spent my time in a really boring way. WTHECK MAN. I need to destroy myself.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

SAS Robotics Committee Team 2008

I think there are not up to no good. Seriously, HONESTLY, I think that they are not as efficient as me. I'm not trying to boast or anything but they just don't have this "I-WANT-TO-LEAD" factor. I look at their faces and what I get is "Oh, yay. I got the chairman position". They should be "HOLLY SHIT!!! I'M THE CHAIRMAN! OMFG!!!". Man... They can't lead, no initiative, no commitment, NO EVERYTHING. How can this be??? Am I an idiot to choose them??? No way, I can't be that stupid. This is a joke. It means that I WAS FORCED TO CHOOSE THEM. Damm... Bunch of idiots.

But I am no good too. Yes, there is some difference. But I know that I was part of the 2007 'Bunch Of Idiots'. So am I going to sit here and see they die? NO WAY MAN. I'm going to train, drill WAHTEVER I KNOW into them. If not, I'm just a wasted leader.

I just came back from school. I told my mom that I am going to get my remaining books but I forgot to tell her that I'm attending a Robotics meeting. This past few months, life was laid back without Robotics. But now, I need to drill my junior. Damm. Robotics is wrecking my life. I like the times when I was in Sec 2. It was a beautiful year. But at least it got me thinking. Well, I am going to drill my junior. Hmm...

Monday, December 17, 2007

The real Beautiful Day...

Here's my BRIGHT idea!

I just love these days. It's the kind that is filled with many things. So many that even after an hour from it, I CAN'T REMEMBER ALL THE GOOD THINGS I'VE DONE TODAY!!! It's just a good day. I don't know but when I see people laugh, it just makes me happy. I don't care if it's about me. I don't care if it's just for a while. As long as they laugh, I just feel... happy. :) So I'm SOOOOOOOO HAPPPPPPYYYYY NOW!!!!! Woohoo!!!

Today, it's a beautiful day. I had an A.Maths Test today which I SURELY BELIEVE WILL FAIL. Argh!!!! I spent my whole day yesterday mugging for it man! I mean I could do the questions but my lack of exposure just pulls me down. I know the method but the nervousness is just too much! Talk about pressure!

Badminton was after that! Yipee! Maybe Mr Ho should book the swimming pool! Then we could go swimming!!! Haha! But surely, today's badminton was indeed my best performance! ;) Oh crap! We should have a Teacher-Student face off today man! Oh gosh I missed it!!! Well not to worry! Maybe next week? Haha! Some of my 3SB Dudes came and played!
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Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

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Too much badminton man!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
And yes... THE MEETING!!! :)

Really, today is the real Beautiful Day.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Communism. Fascism. Or none?

In a world engulfed by different minds and with more different goals, it's no surprise that it's hard to live here. Everyone is fighting a place to get their limelight. Everyone wants to shine. And when we know our road is ending, our will to fight only strengthens rather than decay with our age. We might see ourselves as a individualists with a unique understanding of the world. A united people? But it's this difference that pushes some to the boundaries of their skills. Separating the followers from the leaders. It is the existence of leaders that sparked the pursue for perfection. Now I don't want to start a mess with perfection because time is scarce for now. And so as to speak, to fulfil our far fetched dreams of perfection, ideology is born. From Communism to Terrorism, they make the best of us. They tap to our inner strength and utilise it to launch ourselves to success. The catch is, that not everyone thinks the same. And yet again we see ourselves arming with AK's and tanks just to 'deter' them. This deadly sin keep us on our toes and, as I said earlier, keep us at our best. Now, now, who said we live in a perfect world? Nothing is free you know. The wanting must be quenched with something that will be taken away. Sounds 'chim'?

Ideologies don't limit themselves to what Hitler or Stalin was known for. Ideologies can differ in any way but the key idea is that it combines a group of people together and it brings out the best in us. It may be good but not never bad. I can't list all the different ideologies as it will take all night. I'll tell you about mine. My ideology is simple. Live your life to the fullest. Naive but it works.   

Monday, December 10, 2007

December, My friend

Dear December,

Do you remember me? Well, I surely do remember you for if not, you won't be receiving this. December, you always come after 11 others. You shower the world with bitter water to wash our thick make up and see what's inside. You are always the one telling us to buck up. December, you are so persistent. : ) 

December, do you remember the time when I first went out? Haha! It was MY FIRST MOVIE outing! Oh how can I forget! I got lost in Dhoby Gauht and it was the first time I stepped out into the wilderness. It was beautiful. And yes, haha, the times I went home REALLY late. Or the times I talked to people I never knew. Oh what about the times where I always look acroos at her? Hmm...

December, do you remember that person? Remember last year? I would always talk to you about her smile and how it made me happy and how she talked would make me think twice of what I would reply. Remember that? Haha! Well I was talking non stop about her. But it was sad too. I could only talk about her. I could never look at her straight in the eye. I would never have the courage. How big the courage was, I still couldn't. She's the only person that is better than me. She is, my weakness. 

But it was hard too. I was put to a situation where I could no longer could be with her. And that was when I fell. Every glance seems to be poison pumped into my veins. Every word at me stings me. Everything just falls apart. How can such a human live? 

And I am a fool. For which human could be fall in love, break and fall for the same person? I must have a very strong mind.  She's just too... too real. Too real for me to love. Hmm...

But December, even though she won't accept me, I will still hold her tight. I will still love her. And December, like I said earlier, don't be persistent. Stop raining for a while! I need to run!

Your's Truly

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Stupid. Bodoh. Hmm...

Stupid and bodoh are some of the words that sink deep in our vocabulary of vulgarity. The reason it's there is because from young, we are exposed by these words. And so it is etched on our minds. These days, it's so common to hear them till we lost the real menace behind it. These simple words, which means lacking of intelligence, are minor. However, they do have their sting. Yes, the sting can't be compared to a bee's but if that sting is continuous, it will mount up to a mountain of pain that will crush one like a tsunami.  For example, today, my mom has called me STUPID and BODOH numerous times now; More than any normal day. Even though it's just minor, it does sting me. Sometimes I feel that I'm up to no use. I feel despised. Am I really stupid? If I am, how did I get to 3SB? The second class of the whole cohort? If I'm stupid, why am I here? Well like I have said earlier, it's a small sting mounting up to be a GIANT mountain. The good thing is, I DESTROYED the mountain!

; )

Saturday, December 08, 2007



but HECK...

Friday, December 07, 2007

What's wrong?

The taskbar... it's not suppose to do that you know..

The dock.... Maybe it's a sign telling us that the CPU is running high..



Thursday, December 06, 2007

I'm bored... without .

Yeah, I guess you have heard me ranting that I am BORED! Well it can't be avoided. A holiday is a holiday. But of course, if you were to consider the other useful things that I could do like...
Doing my homework
Cleaning my room
Saving money
Volunteer at a Old Folk's Home
Help my mom

I won't be bored after all! But I'm just lazy... Yeah, it's the rainy season! It's time to sleep!!! Anyway, I think I'm going to plan out the Physics video for now. Draw out the scenes and list down the props. I still can't find a video camera so worst case scenario, I have to ask from my friend. MAN! SO PAISEH!!! But first. I need to check whether my digi cam could do the same functions as a video camera. What's the diff you ask?

Well there is a HUGE difference! I'm sure you know that one captures STILL PHOTOS and the other MOVING PHOTOS! That's the NO. 1 DIFFERENCE! Also, the data that is resulted is also different. The digi cam converts the video to MPEG 1 format. If you import this to any video editing software, the software will not recognise the the sounds and thus making the video, soundless. Mute I say. However, the video cam converts the video to MPEG 4. A format well known by the world of video photographers. If imported into the software, it will keep the sound and make it what a REAL video file is. So that's the main problem I'm facing now. Dang...

Anyway, I'm waiting for the camera battery to be fully charged. That may take a while so why don't I watch some One Piece! Haha! Yup. From Ep 1 to 300!!! THAT'S A LOT!!! Oh wait. Ep 111 is not streamed. Well nevermind, I'll just download it by torrent unless... [Checks the net whether it's illegal to download...] OH CRAP! IT IS ILLEGAL TO DOWNLOAD!!! WHY DID THEY LICENSED IT!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And yeap, that;s another crazy post by me. Hope I didn't SCARE you... HAHA! Be back after my Physics!

Monday, December 03, 2007


Save some face, you know you've only got one
Change your ways while you're young
Boy, one day you'll be a man
Oh girl, he'll help you understand
Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it

Looking back at sunsets on the Eastside
We lost track of the time
Dreams aren't what they used to be
Some things sat by so carelessly

Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it

And someone is calling my name
From the back of the restaurant
And someone is playing a game
In the house that I grew up in
And someone will drive her around
Down the same streets that I did
On the same streets that I did

Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it
Smile like you mean it

Oh no, oh no no no
Oh no, oh no no no

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Beautiful Day

It's life.

"Young man. I've seen your sup paper and I want to tell you that what you doing is just the BARE MINIMUM. You have to buck up Zul!"
- Mrs Charles; SAS Principal
Met her on my way to school yesterday.

"My problem is mine. Your is yours."
- My dad
A brief recall of the argument I had with him.

"Zul, he has changed. I think what's best for you is to just ignore him."
- My mom
A thought of what my mom felt.

"She's keeping me alive for making me have a crush on her. That's something I must thank her for. If not for her, I'm just a corpse."
- ME
What I felt about my crush.