Thursday, July 14, 2011

Screw you AutoCAD

Why do engineering software programs suck so much?

Really. I am doing up an additional task for one of my Electrical Engineering modules that handles a lot of drawing. Basically, it's schematic drawing that features a lot of straight lines, a lot of erasing and also a lot of engineering lingo. Bah. So you know me. The one who finds a shortcut way too often. My task was simple; Use AutoCAD Electrical 2012 and design a electrical wiring one-line diagram of a residential unit. It's just a side task for myself. I mean my main purpose is to refresh my AutoCAD skills. Since I've not touched it for months. Just something extra I like to do. Besides, it might fasten the process of diagram drawing. In real life, drawing it ain't a pain in the ass. But a few mouse clicks beat the whole of drawing lines. Until I realized why I don't touch that crappy software.

IT'S SO FRIGGIN' CONFUSING. I have to basically re-learn every single aspect of the software. I JUST WANT TO DRAW. Bleagh. It's to the point where it is irritating. I must specify the drawing sheet size. And that alone is 2 minutes of searching and 3 clicks away. And then there is this ridiculous help menu. Gosh. It's like teaching a zombie on how to "OPEN THE FILES". Really AutoCAD? Do I need that?

Which brings me to the most agreeable statement I have ever made:
"Engineers must stop making products for other engineers. They only make up 20% of the market."
But yeah, it is true that if a product is targeted for engineers, then by all means it should be done by an engineer. But engineers are humans too. So why don't they all make it a little easy and build a product that interacts well with the human side of feelings more rather than that engineer one.

C'mon AutoCAD, I just need to draw a friggin' one line diagram. LET ME DRAW DAMMIT. Hard? Which is why computers suck much. Now, I'd rather physically draw with the manual power of arm and fingers. And also, which to the dismay of many, is an indication of sorts that the engineering flame in me has his days numbered. Engineering is nice and all. But yeah, I like some other stuff more.

Then we can remotely link how the engineering world has progressed. Undoubtedly, that world has shrunk much more. And I always blame the explosion of electronics that combines multiple functions in a smaller package and machines just do a perfect better job than humans. But maybe not that anymore. Engineering is now just plain boring and confusing. Firstly, we are at the point of age where everything already seems to be invented. I'm speaking about the key engineering aspects like electricity, mechanics, civil and event electronics. But electronics just seem to be waiting on their laurels. It's no longer the way up. But rather the lateral direction.

Better products for the masses at a cheaper price. Better, faster, cheaper. The motto of an engineer. Damn you. And we lost interest to find better alternatives that we also lost people in that interest, per se. I won't entirely suggest they migrate to another field. Instead, some are stuck.

Engineers, give me a better reason to continue. Please?

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Feeling like Waste

Was suppose to gym.
Was suppose to do up my WISP.
Was suppose to finish reading Outliers.
Was suppose to revise CA work.
Was suppose, but didn't.

As I was just too caught up hoping to get you back. Foolish me.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

The Science of Fear (1): Indecisive

"Why are printers so fucking dumb?"
Really. Why? When they are suppose to print one friggin' document and they OUT OF THE BLUE tell me they just run our of ink. Decide numb-fucks. Don't tell me "Low On Ink". It's got ink or no ink. Can't you give me a definite answer? NO INK MEANS NO INK LA. Can't you put a sensor in that dumb cartridge at the bottom that works when that box is empty? Ass backwards printers. DECIDE TO BE USEFUL CAN?

Decisions sucks. Yeah, it forces you to think (I don't know why we can't like to think.) and it makes you wonder about the things you're not suppose to think. Like the what-ifs or the should I or the could I. The most dangerous one is the could I because it hangs you up in the air. You put yourself in an imaginary situation if you could have done that better... done this better... And then you think a lot more if you really did that. Then, you cast yourself in dire doubt that sinks you into near regret. All at the back, you are just brewing useless guilt.

Don't be dumb. Of course YOU could DO that. But you didn't. Don't waste your brain cells please. Come back to reality. The matter of fact, you didn't do your "Could I" moment. 2nd matter of fact, for those believers, is that fate/destiny/karma/ying and yang/whatever that decides your life have you not do that "Could I" moment. But for real, if you did do the "Could I" moment, it meant that you realised the need to do the "Could I" moment. And to realise it means that you either were so cautious in your work or you just know it because the last time round, you didn't do it. And you made it a point to do it this round. For my life, I have never seen anyone that cautious in his/her work. And even if I did, it would be some OCD kid who has been bullied since the start of time. Really. If you're that cautious, society has it that you have no life since your life is to be cautious. I'll put my 10 bucks bet on the "know it because the last time round, you didn't do it".

And then some might argue, "BUT hey! It means that I must *think* or fret over the "Could I" moments so that I would remember." Nope. You don't fret over it. You sit down, you just ask, ask now Why. And you move on from there. The fret-ters are like old aunties that complain under a void deck after a long morning of groceries shopping and kopi-o 'lepak'. They do that every Sunday. But they do nothing to do anything to stop complaining.

Fellas, please be 'decisive'. Decide for once in your life to do something. Save a kitty on a tree or something or help a lady cross the road. Once that is done, STICK TO IT. Don't be a girl that changes bfs like she changes her clothes. That makes you an indecisive slut.

I know you can't decide. Maybe you're scared. Maybe you can't handle the consequences of wrong decision. Maybe... just maybe... you suck. If you're scared, make yourself NOT TO BE scared. If you can't handle it, MAKE YOURSELF handle it. And if it helps, try fuelling yourself with fear. Or, this helps for me, think what if you succeed?

Thursday, July 07, 2011

For Your Eyes Only

Dear Diary

I have been a douche. I acted adversely again, following my instincts but not my heart. Transforming into a monster, I take it sourly. The solution seems to seek calm and quietness for days. And then I can't garner much courage to face her anymore. Like a crumpled piece of paper, it can never be perfect again. As always, she will always be the one that got away.

So what did I do selfishly wrong? Was I deaf and blind to all her actions to mend our friendship? Or was she stubborn to notice how her actions were hurting my pride. Was my pride too prideful? Or can she even see that in me?

Stick to a decision.

You try to mend this fragile glass of feelings by trying to understand me? No. There's no right action. There's no 'mend'. There's no way.

I'm gonna treat you like my friend. A non-member friend. It will take  a whole chunk of my pride away. It will. It will. But that's as close as I can get to you when a part of me still like you.

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Missing a non-member.

"Not even a Normal Member. For now."
You're making it sound as though it's your fault. Really?

Firstly, it's alright to say no. Ever heard of free speech? Secondly, I admit, I wasn't that fond of your response and that when you were truly asking my peace of mind, I simply lied to elude you. Maybe that's where it went wrong, I thought it would make you feel better. Thirdly, it could have been a un-ordinary reaction that came from me. But I was braving myself. I can never simply look falter. Fourthly, now it seems, might be your wrong move. You said no, and you wanted me to act as though nothing ever happened. As though we turned back time. As though our memories got erased. As though, nothing ever happened.

We happened. And you said no.

So I can't go back to normal. People say I need time. People say it's the ordinary, aka normal, reaction. I say, it's my response, not reaction. I said yes. You said no. I wanted to give my very best and your didn't want any. And if you don't want, then, I find no reason to give any of my best. Because when you said no, you killed a part of me. You killed my reason of you.

A note to think of, some might say, that it's 'punishment'. GUYS, this is not first grade. I'm not some psycho-lunatic that treats every stranger ice-cream or fold plastic hearts for or make them laugh. I'm selfish, for the right people. And if the karma police was policing selfishness, I would get life imprisonment for you. For you. Like a stranger, you seem to me today.

Hopefully, there will be a GPS of life soon, pointing to the right direction. I'm taking time to stay focused at the tasks at hand. Will it be forever? No la. Can it be forever? Definitely not. It's like a lesson learnt you know. Or rather a club membership. Normal members get the basic opportunities to attend the events. Members-at-large are at the same level as a 'guest'. Only a fancier name. Active members get the chance to lead projects and eventually represent the club as part of Board management. 

It's a lesson learning.

But the truth is, I miss you.

Hitler's Reason

Here we go again.

Imagine the night sky pouring. And as the droplets trickle down your face, you are constantly remembered how useless the World has been. A globe full of non-believers in you. You feel sucky. You feel that they have no right to outright pin you down. You wonder why this world, sucks, again. You try to get up and you successfully did. But you still have that musky feeling of loser-ville.

It's the story of everyone. The only thing is, I fucking hate it when you screw up my plans. Without a fucking reason.
"At least Hitler had a reason to kill."
It took us long enough. It took me way longer than usual. It's definitely obvious. I did not believe that my own comrades would desert me. My very own comrades. The ones that I've fought side by side for the past year. They did everything but stood by my side.

Or were they simply too blinded by their newfound freedom that they relinquished their spirit that have brought them this far? Foolish thoughts. It should be that very reason why they must keep fighting. And to just let go right now is identical to not fighting at all.

Can't they see why I'm doing this? You revolt when mistakes were made but you push aside every opportunity for you to rise and beckon good will. You accept perfection but you yourself aren't. Such atrocities are the bane that I am trying to rid. But you just don't see it don't you.

You will never see it.

For them, it could be an act of revenge. A chance for them to fight for the time I have them 'wasted'. A chance of them to make my life hell. A chance for them to not give me a chance. Something that they want. "Oh, because our seniors don't teach us, so we won't teach you." WHAT KIND OF ASS BACKWARDS THINKING IS THAT? "Did you see us going back to our Senior? No right? So, I don't expect you to come to me either."

So, let them make the mistakes we have made? Yes, to allow them to learn like how we did. So, let history repeat itself? Yes. So that they would be like us. HEY. You're not perfect. You're no them. "BUT wait, you have to let them decide!" Let them decide and let the efforts of our might go down the drain.

Unfortunately for you, I am selfish. I am selfish for the right reasons. I will not allow peasants run this orchestra in a peasant way. They will be running it as we have seen the show's former glory. So what's your problem?