Skeletons In Her Closet

This is a long post.
I have a friend who blogs really well. I don't know whether it's her proficiency in english or her 'really vivid' life that gives her the edge. But what I do know is that she is one though girl. She has control of her life and is determine to change anything that is wrong. Her will never dies and even though she has spoken of many 'unpleasant emo' stuff, she stands out of the crowd with a burning desire to live.

I salute you girl!

Look at this blog. It's fake. It uses someone else's skin. It copies the emo words of many. The most outstanding one is none other than the presence of a damped will. It's also VERY emotional. It has no desire to live or so whatever. Everything it has worked for slips thru the fingers like sand. The hands are tainted with blood of guilt and failure. Too dirty. Even the cold morning air is cleaner. So clean that every breath is like a good puff. At the end of it all, it sees an incoming car a few meters away. It's willing to lose it all.

On my way back home yesterday, I saw a car coming. I was at a junction, waiting for it to pass before I cross but half of me didn't want to. Half of me wants to end it all. Cos everything that I have worked for is gone. Vanished. Vanished to a state of humiliation, failure, guilt and...

I don't know. I just want to give up but I can't be like that. I want to be the best. I don't want to dissapoint my family, my friends, my teachers, myself. So what do I do?