But I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
I talked to a great friend of mine as I walked out of school earlier today. As we were walking, she asked me why I had wanted to meet her earlier. I was shocked at first as I wasn't expecting her to ask me that. Even though I was "slanted", it made me think that people still cared. So I asked her and she gave me the most awaited advice that I needed and that really made my head a whole lot lighter. So for that, I thanked her. : )
So maybe I should use post-it and say sorry to She. That way, I won't have to spill my guts out just to say a few words: I'm sorry. I really hope she understands me. I hope she understands why I liked her.
: ) Just keep it a secret ok?
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Monday, July 30, 2007
Warning Sign
I am wondering. I am wondering why I am blogging despite the fact that I have yet to finish revising the Physics topics. Am I too lazy?
I am wondering. I am wondering why I didn't ask my friend for that advise. Am I too fearful of what that's going to happen?
I am wondering. I am wondering why I didn't talk to her today. Am I a coward so as too just let it go and not confront it?
I gave myself to Friday. If I don't find a reason then, I am not worth her time. I should tell m about the delay. That way, She won't have a reason to go against me when I have e-mailed her about the delay. Yea yea. I know it's not respectable to talk over a matter that is everything but trivial via e-mail. I know I should talk to her directly but first, I need to gather up some courage. Yea, I should get some courage. i should ask mc about that too. Maybe she could help me in some way or another. I hope she do. My energyis getting leached drastically.
I am wondering. I am wondering why I didn't ask my friend for that advise. Am I too fearful of what that's going to happen?
I am wondering. I am wondering why I didn't talk to her today. Am I a coward so as too just let it go and not confront it?
I gave myself to Friday. If I don't find a reason then, I am not worth her time. I should tell m about the delay. That way, She won't have a reason to go against me when I have e-mailed her about the delay. Yea yea. I know it's not respectable to talk over a matter that is everything but trivial via e-mail. I know I should talk to her directly but first, I need to gather up some courage. Yea, I should get some courage. i should ask mc about that too. Maybe she could help me in some way or another. I hope she do. My energyis getting leached drastically.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Lessons On MRC... HAIK!
In this week, I have skipped 2 days of school, missing out the juiciest lessons. Am I going in the right direction? Or am I just wasting away life? It's not that I skipped for fun or anything. I had to service the school for South Zone MRC. I had a competition yesterday which we did really badly on. ARGH!!!
Well when things don't go my way, I get angry. Angry not at the things but angry at myself.
On the passed Tuesday, I helped out in the SZMRC which invites the school in the south district to compete in a car making competition. Motorised or not, many came in with fanciful designs. There was one that looked like a tank! Cool. I won't say it was a messy event but there was room to improve. Firstly, I should have gotten more people to help me in the event. 2 for inspection. 5 for time keeping. 1 for message sending and 1 more for signal giver. But actually, 7 helpers are more than enough. 2 can double task. That's not the end. There are also some areas such as the time keeping procedure. Time keeping is way to hard for the uncooperative yet loyal members of mine to help me [i was the time collator]. The best way is to choose those who really can work. It would really help if the racers could put their car numbers in a more visible area. When I collate the times, I always tell my helpers to tell the car number followed by the timing. Lastly, the place at the end of the track is always crowded. My time helpers can't even see me. It's just because that the racers' partners are suppose to 'catch' their respective cars. Maybe some coordinating should be done.
The black squares are the partners and the blue are my timers. So what about that? But that might hinder some time helpers. Oh, what about the helpers help to catch their cars too?
Enough, I'm tired and sick of mrc. Congrats to all winners and my school for winning the overall, again...
Well when things don't go my way, I get angry. Angry not at the things but angry at myself.
On the passed Tuesday, I helped out in the SZMRC which invites the school in the south district to compete in a car making competition. Motorised or not, many came in with fanciful designs. There was one that looked like a tank! Cool. I won't say it was a messy event but there was room to improve. Firstly, I should have gotten more people to help me in the event. 2 for inspection. 5 for time keeping. 1 for message sending and 1 more for signal giver. But actually, 7 helpers are more than enough. 2 can double task. That's not the end. There are also some areas such as the time keeping procedure. Time keeping is way to hard for the uncooperative yet loyal members of mine to help me [i was the time collator]. The best way is to choose those who really can work. It would really help if the racers could put their car numbers in a more visible area. When I collate the times, I always tell my helpers to tell the car number followed by the timing. Lastly, the place at the end of the track is always crowded. My time helpers can't even see me. It's just because that the racers' partners are suppose to 'catch' their respective cars. Maybe some coordinating should be done.
The black squares are the partners and the blue are my timers. So what about that? But that might hinder some time helpers. Oh, what about the helpers help to catch their cars too?
Enough, I'm tired and sick of mrc. Congrats to all winners and my school for winning the overall, again...
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Thank You!
I would like to thank you all for giving me a reason to keep blogging. With your support of "visits", I would have never thought of closing down this blog. Thanks guys! YOU ALL ARE MY FRIENDS!
Last Saturday was Prize Giving Day. It's just one of the days that the school rewards people who have been faithful and hard working throughout the whole year. What better way to honour them than cashing into their pockets 30 bucks of Borders voucher. [Well, just in time for Harry's final adventure] I'd usually get invited to these stuff every year but I guess I under-performed last year. So no honours for me. But I had to stick around and help. There's no hurt in that right? Well I was totally wrong.
Sticking out like a sore thumb, I slithered pass through the crowd. They seemed to be lured to the buffet at the upper court. My AFGM shirt made me visible but still it felt that I was a ghost. No. More like an uninvited guest. The worst thing is that I brushed up with my sin. He was unmoved by the attention of his awards. [Man... I gotta learn that technique.] Of course, that brewed some jealousy and what's more worse, She was invited to the party. She was there and laughing, as unperturbed by my deep sorrow. Dressed in black, she was seducing me through sight without knowing it. Now I remember why I failed. But my objectives were clear. That made back to the tracks. So then I wandered off back to my comfortable slums and regretted. I wished I could be better for her.
I never spoke of it for the whole day. I was devastated. It's my weakness to see her which led to my calamity. But yea...
SHE WAS HOT! Still wished for a hug...
Last Saturday was Prize Giving Day. It's just one of the days that the school rewards people who have been faithful and hard working throughout the whole year. What better way to honour them than cashing into their pockets 30 bucks of Borders voucher. [Well, just in time for Harry's final adventure] I'd usually get invited to these stuff every year but I guess I under-performed last year. So no honours for me. But I had to stick around and help. There's no hurt in that right? Well I was totally wrong.
Sticking out like a sore thumb, I slithered pass through the crowd. They seemed to be lured to the buffet at the upper court. My AFGM shirt made me visible but still it felt that I was a ghost. No. More like an uninvited guest. The worst thing is that I brushed up with my sin. He was unmoved by the attention of his awards. [Man... I gotta learn that technique.] Of course, that brewed some jealousy and what's more worse, She was invited to the party. She was there and laughing, as unperturbed by my deep sorrow. Dressed in black, she was seducing me through sight without knowing it. Now I remember why I failed. But my objectives were clear. That made back to the tracks. So then I wandered off back to my comfortable slums and regretted. I wished I could be better for her.
I never spoke of it for the whole day. I was devastated. It's my weakness to see her which led to my calamity. But yea...
SHE WAS HOT! Still wished for a hug...
Friday, July 20, 2007
No One's Reading This Blog_Part 1
Yea, that's right. No one's reading this blog. My posts have become VERY EMO to the extent that I have lost visitors. -_- So here's the lesson, DON'T BE EMO.
So what? Life's hard. That's a fact. But it's also a fact that you can change it. It's just a matter of attitude. You want it badly so you must work badly. What you get is what you have put. They call it equivalent exchange. Which is somewhat true. No one's perfect. That's also a fact. But you can be perfect. The thing is what equal exchange can you give to attain this status? Is there even any thing on this world that has the equal value of being perfect? Will anyone be happy if you became perfect?
But enough with questions, it's making my blog bland.
I once thought I could be perfect and I still do. It's just a matter of what I can give. I heard this line in an anime and ever since, I've been living up to it. To attain, something of equal value must be lost. If you look at it at different views, it really is what that makes this world go round. If you pay attention in class, you can get better grades. If you skip school for other reasons that doesn't benefit everyone but yourself, you have to give that equal value by being punished. But before I found this law, I was so intrigued by how people think. During that time, I lived just to make people happy. I did crazy things just for them to be happy. I sacrificed my lunch just to help her carry her books. I stayed back to clean her [or rather our] classroom. In return, she smiled.
There was actually a bonus. A bonus that gave me a sin. I'm not a Christian but they fall under my area of survey. This bonus made me a hunger. I increasingly looked for ways to be closer. I wanted more and wanted only no one can produce. I devised a plan that if I could be perfect, I could get what I wanted. So I prepared to be perfect, killing my moral roots and into the depths of darkness. This is forbidden art. Those who tried perfect just died in dismay. If not, they lose touch of humanity and fill their hearts with anger and rage. Some lucky ones just lose all emotions.
Of course, I did this inhumanity and turned out to be one of those who lost all emotions. And a heart. Luck?
So what? Life's hard. That's a fact. But it's also a fact that you can change it. It's just a matter of attitude. You want it badly so you must work badly. What you get is what you have put. They call it equivalent exchange. Which is somewhat true. No one's perfect. That's also a fact. But you can be perfect. The thing is what equal exchange can you give to attain this status? Is there even any thing on this world that has the equal value of being perfect? Will anyone be happy if you became perfect?
But enough with questions, it's making my blog bland.
I once thought I could be perfect and I still do. It's just a matter of what I can give. I heard this line in an anime and ever since, I've been living up to it. To attain, something of equal value must be lost. If you look at it at different views, it really is what that makes this world go round. If you pay attention in class, you can get better grades. If you skip school for other reasons that doesn't benefit everyone but yourself, you have to give that equal value by being punished. But before I found this law, I was so intrigued by how people think. During that time, I lived just to make people happy. I did crazy things just for them to be happy. I sacrificed my lunch just to help her carry her books. I stayed back to clean her [or rather our] classroom. In return, she smiled.
There was actually a bonus. A bonus that gave me a sin. I'm not a Christian but they fall under my area of survey. This bonus made me a hunger. I increasingly looked for ways to be closer. I wanted more and wanted only no one can produce. I devised a plan that if I could be perfect, I could get what I wanted. So I prepared to be perfect, killing my moral roots and into the depths of darkness. This is forbidden art. Those who tried perfect just died in dismay. If not, they lose touch of humanity and fill their hearts with anger and rage. Some lucky ones just lose all emotions.
Of course, I did this inhumanity and turned out to be one of those who lost all emotions. And a heart. Luck?
Bad Medicine!
This song has good metaphors!
======================
Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Woah, shake it up just like bad medicine
There aint no doctor that can cure my disease
Bad medicine
I aint got a fever got a permanent disease
And it'll take more than a doctor to prescribe a remedy
And I got lots of money but it isn't what I need
Gonna take more than a shot to get this poison outta me
And I got all the symptoms, count 'em 1 2 3
First you need (Thats what you get for falling in love)
Then you bleed (You get a little and its never enough)
On your knees (Thats what you get for falling in love)
And now this boys addicted cause your kiss is the drug
Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up just like bad medicine
There aint no doctor that can cure my disease
Bad, bad medicine
I don't need no needle to be giving me a thrill
And I don't need no anesthesia or a nurse to bring a pill
I got a dirty down addiction that doesn't leave a track
I got a jolt for your affection like a monkey on my back
There aint no paramedic gonna save this heart attack
When you need (Thats what you get for falling in love)
Then you bleed (You get a little and its never enough)
On your knees (Thats what you get for falling in love)
Now this boys addcited cause your kiss is the drug
Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up just like bad medicine
So lets play doctor baby, cure my disease
Bad, bad medicine ... is what I want
Bad, bad medicine ... its what I need
I need a respirator cause I'm running out of breath
Your an all night generator
Wrapped in stockings and a dress
When you find your medicine you take what you can get
Cause if theres something better baby well they haven't found it yet
Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up just like bad medicine
There aint no doctor that can cure my disease
Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up just like bad medicine
Your loves the potion that can cure my disease
Bad, bad medicine ... is what I want
Bad, bad medicine
I gotta go, I gotta, I gotta go, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta
I gotta do it again, wait a minute, wait a minute
Hold on ... I'm not done
One more time, with feeling ... come on
Alright, help me out now
Your love is like Bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up just like bad medicine
Your got the potion that can cure my disease
Your love ... bad medicine
Your kiss is what I need
Your love ... bad medicine
=====================
MAN... I do need medicine. AND ALL MY FRIENDS TOO!
======================
Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Woah, shake it up just like bad medicine
There aint no doctor that can cure my disease
Bad medicine
I aint got a fever got a permanent disease
And it'll take more than a doctor to prescribe a remedy
And I got lots of money but it isn't what I need
Gonna take more than a shot to get this poison outta me
And I got all the symptoms, count 'em 1 2 3
First you need (Thats what you get for falling in love)
Then you bleed (You get a little and its never enough)
On your knees (Thats what you get for falling in love)
And now this boys addicted cause your kiss is the drug
Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up just like bad medicine
There aint no doctor that can cure my disease
Bad, bad medicine
I don't need no needle to be giving me a thrill
And I don't need no anesthesia or a nurse to bring a pill
I got a dirty down addiction that doesn't leave a track
I got a jolt for your affection like a monkey on my back
There aint no paramedic gonna save this heart attack
When you need (Thats what you get for falling in love)
Then you bleed (You get a little and its never enough)
On your knees (Thats what you get for falling in love)
Now this boys addcited cause your kiss is the drug
Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up just like bad medicine
So lets play doctor baby, cure my disease
Bad, bad medicine ... is what I want
Bad, bad medicine ... its what I need
I need a respirator cause I'm running out of breath
Your an all night generator
Wrapped in stockings and a dress
When you find your medicine you take what you can get
Cause if theres something better baby well they haven't found it yet
Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up just like bad medicine
There aint no doctor that can cure my disease
Your love is like bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up just like bad medicine
Your loves the potion that can cure my disease
Bad, bad medicine ... is what I want
Bad, bad medicine
I gotta go, I gotta, I gotta go, I gotta, I gotta, I gotta
I gotta do it again, wait a minute, wait a minute
Hold on ... I'm not done
One more time, with feeling ... come on
Alright, help me out now
Your love is like Bad medicine
Bad medicine is what I need
Shake it up just like bad medicine
Your got the potion that can cure my disease
Your love ... bad medicine
Your kiss is what I need
Your love ... bad medicine
=====================
MAN... I do need medicine. AND ALL MY FRIENDS TOO!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Don't Complain
I can't believe it. I'm complaining. This should never be of me. Well let's just face it, I AM A FAILURE.
Complaining aside, I just finished my run. I wasn't sure of the distance but I just ran around the school. I wasn't really pumped up even though the black parade was playing. [I was listening through one ear as the left earpiece slipped off continuously.] The timing wasn't good. It was under ten but the distance felt it should be done under eight. It'll be six it there weren't any slopes! Overall, it was a nice run. It'll be nicer if I saw her...
Mr Gene Yeo ran too! I was on my way back and I saw him jogging at the 2.4 area. I passed him as he saluted me. Haha! Salute to me! The flag bearer!
Complaining aside, I just finished my run. I wasn't sure of the distance but I just ran around the school. I wasn't really pumped up even though the black parade was playing. [I was listening through one ear as the left earpiece slipped off continuously.] The timing wasn't good. It was under ten but the distance felt it should be done under eight. It'll be six it there weren't any slopes! Overall, it was a nice run. It'll be nicer if I saw her...
Mr Gene Yeo ran too! I was on my way back and I saw him jogging at the 2.4 area. I passed him as he saluted me. Haha! Salute to me! The flag bearer!
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
screwed up
Just finished school. Man, I'm so tired. A day's work can easily knock me off, especially when I'm constantly running two shows at the same time. My day's work has yet to end for today. I have homework to do and an ALICE competition to do up. Oh yeah, I'm back in ALICE. Though I may exit unexpectedly. On top of it all, I have to submit to .1 expectations. (it's read as point one) It's some list of requirements I made to myself. If I don't submit to the requirements, I'd better off dead.
Robotics is an extra hobby I have. A hobby is something that I can do good in and is something I do out of free will. Robotics for me doesn't look like a hobby to me. It is not something I can do wonders with but instead, it is a platform for greater heights. Robotics are steps for me to attain great power. But it's just a platform, training me.
So if it's a platform, it can't be named as a hobby. Thus, Robotics is a job. This job trains one. It has responsibilities, leadership, tasks, downs and ups. But the most important thing is that it has expectations. The real question is whether one can meet that expectations.
I know I'm not there.
Robotics is an extra hobby I have. A hobby is something that I can do good in and is something I do out of free will. Robotics for me doesn't look like a hobby to me. It is not something I can do wonders with but instead, it is a platform for greater heights. Robotics are steps for me to attain great power. But it's just a platform, training me.
So if it's a platform, it can't be named as a hobby. Thus, Robotics is a job. This job trains one. It has responsibilities, leadership, tasks, downs and ups. But the most important thing is that it has expectations. The real question is whether one can meet that expectations.
I know I'm not there.
Monday, July 16, 2007
sensitivity
I hate to say this but it has come to my attention that a lot of people have become sensitive. My,my, like babies who lost their mothers, they cry. What's up with that?
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Won't Go Home Without You
I passed up my DnT Journal yesterday. It was a great relieve once I handed over the journal. It took me a month plus just to finish it. I won't say it's a good improvement but I'm on the way there.
Oh yeah, school was sucky today. Firstly, I didn't do the homework given. MAN! What's becoming of me? For the past few weeks, I have been slacking. This constant lag has and will bring me to my knees. But still, I do nothing. Sitting here and waiting. Homework was one of the many suckiness. I seem to find it hard to be myself. It's as though something is hindering me. And again, the same situation. The problem lies in front of me. Still, I ignore it. Sitting here and waiting. Talking about me, I made my a.maths teacher angry today. Like I've said, it was hard to be myself today. It's not me to make someone angry. I'm sure my a.maths teacher was angry at me for talking to JJ when she was teaching. What's more worst it that she said that she won't answer any questions I ask her! Oh no! What a great time to say that when I'm lagging behind in my studies.
SHUCKS!
I ran today. It wasn't my normal route as I was cross-training. Or something like that. As I passed the JC bridge, I thought I saw her. But I was wrong.
But still, it's still evident that I still like her.
Oh yeah, school was sucky today. Firstly, I didn't do the homework given. MAN! What's becoming of me? For the past few weeks, I have been slacking. This constant lag has and will bring me to my knees. But still, I do nothing. Sitting here and waiting. Homework was one of the many suckiness. I seem to find it hard to be myself. It's as though something is hindering me. And again, the same situation. The problem lies in front of me. Still, I ignore it. Sitting here and waiting. Talking about me, I made my a.maths teacher angry today. Like I've said, it was hard to be myself today. It's not me to make someone angry. I'm sure my a.maths teacher was angry at me for talking to JJ when she was teaching. What's more worst it that she said that she won't answer any questions I ask her! Oh no! What a great time to say that when I'm lagging behind in my studies.
SHUCKS!
I ran today. It wasn't my normal route as I was cross-training. Or something like that. As I passed the JC bridge, I thought I saw her. But I was wrong.
But still, it's still evident that I still like her.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Slacking For DnT
Hey! You spelled his name wrongly!
So the school be ready if he comes chasing for that misspell!
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Hmm...
I'm suppose to run today. NAH... Maybe tomorrow.
It's obvious that the Razr 2 is an object to lust over. It's sleek design has most of us drool. The thin body will remind us that Gisele owns that phone too. Dang... We only wish that we have her too. Well, enough about fantasies and back to Earth.
07/07/07
Last year's 6/6/6 was devil's best day, this year's triple number got 777 couples to their honeymoons. o.0 Geez, the thing with this superstitious world is that it makes our world leaders loathe it more. And in turn, they destroy it.
When we finally saw the damage, we set up many renowned organisations that pledge to pull down the "megatrons".
Yea, whatever. Just don't kill Earth in the process.
I'm tied down with homework tonight. I got D&T on my left while my A.Maths and Physics lay on top, catching my sight. I should frown... : ( Oh wait, this work makes me forget about her. So I should : ) No, no. I'm not referring to her. [The one Togu knows. She's attached and I'm away from her.] I'm referring to my long love. For a year I guess. I know that she knows I was hitting on her but I don't know if she would react the right way. Ah... so sad. Everything fell apart after I got my results.
Can we at least talk?
Oh, Happy Live Earth Day btw.
It's obvious that the Razr 2 is an object to lust over. It's sleek design has most of us drool. The thin body will remind us that Gisele owns that phone too. Dang... We only wish that we have her too. Well, enough about fantasies and back to Earth.
07/07/07
Last year's 6/6/6 was devil's best day, this year's triple number got 777 couples to their honeymoons. o.0 Geez, the thing with this superstitious world is that it makes our world leaders loathe it more. And in turn, they destroy it.
When we finally saw the damage, we set up many renowned organisations that pledge to pull down the "megatrons".
Yea, whatever. Just don't kill Earth in the process.
I'm tied down with homework tonight. I got D&T on my left while my A.Maths and Physics lay on top, catching my sight. I should frown... : ( Oh wait, this work makes me forget about her. So I should : ) No, no. I'm not referring to her. [The one Togu knows. She's attached and I'm away from her.] I'm referring to my long love. For a year I guess. I know that she knows I was hitting on her but I don't know if she would react the right way. Ah... so sad. Everything fell apart after I got my results.
Can we at least talk?
Oh, Happy Live Earth Day btw.
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