The not so hearty part of HTHT (2)

Following rave reviews of my previous post (read: shameless), I guess I have to do a follow-up.

A friend asks, "You lonely? So lonely and depressed that you don't have a slightest chance of an opportunity to even talk to a person?! GEEZ, talk to yourself!"

Another points out, "Dude, people HTHT to let things go man! WTF is your problem? Let them be!"

And thankfully, not everyone in this world is a troll, "I don't think HTHT should be 'generalised' as an activity of thrill. There are people who do genuinely care and they would offer a listening ear even if it's out of their own expense. Just my 2 cents."

Okay, here's my response.

I don't like to label. The way I see about HTHT is that we are having an exclusive association for this. (read: psychology has a study on the effects of human behaviour when we have associations with physical and non-physical objects. blah blah blah...)

An example for exclusive associations would be how we respond to fear. Doesn't it make you ask yourself why people have phobias about spiders? And it's even weirder when you see the stats and ask, why do only a certain handful freak the smallest of spiders? Even more puzzling are facts on why is it so and how this fear comes about. Is it hard-wired into our brains? Can we change this wiring? Or even alter wiring to maybe perhaps fear something else?

That is exclusive association. My take of it that is. Essentially, HTHT should not be exclusively associated as a thrill seekers dose of living. Being natural, it is just another form of communication. But we have to agree that this communication is deeper and much more 'sacred'. I definitely agree. That is my first point.

2nd point; It pains me to see my friends just shrug away this simple conversation as a form of meh-responsibility. "Orh, he just talk to me like that lor." It is important to that person so much so that he is willing to divulge details of his life never shared to anyone and a selfish, annoying, pompous prick of you throw away such basic duty of human life. And that is to talk.

This brings my 3rd point. There are obviously some just to trigger happy about this. In fact, this was the main point that started me to write about HTHT. And I know a person. She is much so as it seems she living off HTHT. I mean, don't take me wrong. To want to hear people's agony. To lend a shoulder when the rain comes. To be strong enough for the fallen as a role model in their hard times. That's a lot of work and to 'volunteer' for it seems a spectacle.

But it just feels weird. It feels too fucking fake.

The takeaway for this is here: If you think that a HTHT session would solve people's problems and you think it's a way for them to cope. NO. Some people don't need to be talked. Some people see actions louder. But all of them, want someone there. Just there.

If you are really there, then you would know.

Ashes fall off.

TODAY, was special. I got scolded at first. Didn't see an oncoming rider and he practically road raged on me. And while that was bad enough, the bikes had overtimed by a whooping 2 hours. Burnt, not only my hole, but the others too of 10 bucks. And as if that's the lowest point, my printer went bazooooks on me began to tell me that the new ink I just installed can't be use. So much for reliable software? Oh yeah, gotta print a document by tomorrow morning.

But I am not disheartened. If the ones above me feel that this day needs to be even bad and make my parents mad at me, so be it. Because I feel blessed to be among a group so loveable. I tell you why.

I helped someone ride a bike! All in a day's work as who I am. First aided a dude who went elbow first on a head-on bike collision. I hope he's save. Cycled 2 bikes, which means that I am now 3 stars in kayaking terms. Lololol. Btw, 4 stars is biking hands-free. 5 is wheeling and if you can do that, 6 is a give away; Riding while hand standing. Wheeeoooowwww.

Today is blessed, because I got through it.

Have you ever gotten into a fight? Like a real fist fight? With clenched bloody fists meeting flesh and bone, without that amaturish kicks of course, with grapples and elbows and knees... Have you ever? Oh and btw, who kicks and bounces backwards? You gotta stay put man. Back to the fight, have you ever? Well, today I did. Wanted to feel alive again. Like that scene from Fight Club, where Tyler and 'Jack' starts whacking the nuts out. Like in first year, walking up the spiral staircase, thinking to myself that my life bores me, lets punch this kid on my right.

It feels good to fight the hell out. Irony isn't it? One feels mainly pain in a fight but when he walks out, as a victor or with a loss at hand, he feels liberated. That's why boxers, box. That's why heroes keep pressing a cause they believe. That's why we keep trying. Warriors.

Now now, where's that ashtray?

Why the MacBook Air is my next laptop.

Now we all have reached to this point of life to be torn between decisions. And this is definitely one of them, finding the right laptop. After all, one could easily spend 2-3 grands on a top of the line machine that does wonders or for that same performance, get a sub-1000 device. The world is never fair.

For Apple's MacBook Air, you really got to have a great distinction to buy one. Most Windows laptops in that price range can do more in gaming or photo and video editing. But it's still a top seller. I'll tell you why.

Great design.
For one, it's solid aluminum construction is an eye grabber. It doesn't screams for attention but it has sleek lines and clean corners. Pull out one anywhere and you will definitely set heads to turn. And this is a flaw. You see, the amount of MacBook Airs I see in Singapore alone has saturated my eyes enough. If you want to be a trend setter, look elsewhere. You don't just construct a from a solid block of aluminum just for aesthetics. This baby's design is well built. The weight is enough to set its durability. In one's hands, it's craftmanship is echoed by the weight. But don't think a boy scout would use in a thunderstorm. It's not weather-proof like all other laptops. You know it is worth it when you don't have that all to familiar cheap plastic feeling.

Great software.
You know the learning curve of new devices? Well, it's not that apparent here. Apple did so well in their software design, right out of the box, you could use it without instructions. It is, as it is. Which poses a problem for people like me. If something is too easy to use, 9 out of 10 times, it can't be go the way we want it. I grew up with limited hardware. And to use the software with this limitation as it is, I need to hack it. Bah. I get this sense of comfort knowing a system is flexible, like the Windows OS. Apple's Mac OS 10 is not not flexible, it's unique. Too unique. But owning a Mac for 5 years, I'm starting to adapt. Starting to accept that ease of use is ease of use. In actual fact, to just do what you need to do is the central essence. Sometimes, you don't need to have a fanciful desktop with widgets just to do your job. Period. 

Performance the way you need it.
Alright, let's be real here. Can it play the latest games? Nope. Can it run Photoshop while editing 1080p video in Final Cut Pro while checking your email and have a Skype call? I'm sure most Windows laptops do that but do we really need it? Sometimes, too much is too much. You might have to strip yourself of useless information before you finally achieve your goals. As I detailed it here (http://errorofheart.blogspot.com/2011/10/it-doesnt-work-sideways.html),

"Sometimes, the finest of details is found not when you focused a lot, but when you removed the very distraction to it."

The MacBook Air might be the most underpowered machine at this price range but if you're not an octupus in a suit running from meetings to meetings doing video editing and sound mastering all at the same time, this is perfect for you. To put it into perspective, my workflow consist of heavy email, heavy word processing and mega heavy web surf. Once in a while, I would do some video, though not a film feature. I rarely do sound. So rare that I don't even install ProTools. For my workflow, the MacBook Air is simply the best for me. Don't get me wrong, a HP ProBook is better, but when a Mac is bought, it's together bought with the software, well built hardware and a great experience over millions have gone through before.

So what's holding me back?
Well, my pay hasn't come in yet. Also, my enlistment is this year which makes it kinda dumb to buy a new laptop now. Probably not going to use it. And then there's this new OS X Mountain Lion. It's due to be released in Summer. And summer is just 2 months away! THIS PURCHASE BETTER BE WORTH MY MONEYYYY.

Other than buying a new machine, my mom got a new treadmill. WHOLLY MOLLY.

Lauging at Pain

The body is a wonderful machine. It heals itself. It adapts to any surroundings. It's horsepower is incomparable when its versatility to be in any place supersedes the most advance of robots. What's better than this is the human spirit. When this body feels pain, it quickly adapts to lessen it and sometimes fix it. But the human spirit is the one that ensures you keep running, ensures you keep going, ensures you never give up.

Very highly regarded paradigms, but today, sometimes, they are not as smart as we think they are.

My right foot is suffering from a pain I can't seem to shake off for the past week. The muscle affected stretches over the arc of a foot and is responsible for distributing the body weight when we run and walk. Called the Plantar Fascia, rupturing it means that I can't walk or run properly again. And on my weekly run today, it seemed to be my foot's final straw. Sigh. I was doing so good, clocking a pace of around 4'00". Dang.

The pain was not searing but it was nimble at first. Instantly, I knew I couldn't play around with this sort of pain. Stopped at my halfway mark and it was such a sad thing. I planned to make my way to Bishan Stadium to do some sprints. Apparently, that couldn't be the case. Sheesh. I'm going to ice this guy everyday for 15 minutes for a week. Gonna avoid long walks, like an old man, and start wearing tighter shoes. And hopefully, by then, my feet could fully utilize the investment of barefoot running. Mannnnnn.

I'm not going to say much about this but there seems to be bothering me. It's like an annoying pimple. Can't burst it else it will leave a scar. Can't medicate it, it's at the back. All I could do in ignore this. Not that I don't feel it's irritant, but I just can't find any value, any worth, any heart to see you. I'm not sure exactly why I am feeling this way but I'm just disappointed. Kinda felt short-changed just because I wasn't given the opportunity to give. Fuck this shit man.

At any rate, I'm not the butt of all jokes. I hope.  

Mantis.

"Boybands can go and suck it."

Looks like I'm going all the way to be sour here.

At any rate, I went gym today. It wasn't that fruitful. I just did cardio, which is just running and breaking some sweat. I wanted to do some weights like the other days. But since tomorrow is JB's NAPHA, decided to help him gain his stamina in running by cardio. By any standards, I just ran like a small kid playing tag or catching. 

And JB sucks as a gym buddy. I mean he has great partnering affinity, will push you harder, will make your workout worth it. He's great! But just that he is always late. LATE. And no gym buddy should come in late. :) Really.

Very sleepy now. I did not get my normal lunch fix. To avoid being sleep, one should have a ready supply of carbs. These convert to energy and keeps you awake. So I did not take in enough carbs. Bahh. I had chicken breasts for lunch plus 2 slices of wholemeal bread. But that alone is not enough. Should have gotten some rice along with it.

Besides my new obsession to diet and workout, I got my brother's guitar restrung. Got me all excited! Alas, I'm still tired. My guitar lays there waiting for the owner to strum her.

Got my hands on the Guitar for Dummies. Pretty detailed stuff there but if you're thinking if that would be your only companion, please look elsewhere. As quoted from the book, "this book aims to get you on the get-go on grabbing a guitar and start playing songs." Heck. Now I know how to play Old Macdonald's Had a Farm. Proud of that.

Erm, I am watching my diet, but I am not monitoring it. Get it? Not so crazy about losing weight either. And to answer, this is not torturing yourself. You are not being tortured if you are enjoying this. Yeah man. I like to restrict my dietary. Boiled chicken meat is bland and that is not someone's ideal meal but I like it. It's not a MacDonald's meal. WHO DA EFF AM I KIDDING. HOW CAN MAC'S BE GOOD?! HAHA. Nonetheless, I like to do something new than eating Ayam Paggang or Western at Munch. Seriously guys, don't you find them too 'bland'?

Besides, it's something to keep me occupied. I could be in a mulling state. Or a lazy ass mood. Instead, I am keeping myself fit.

The thing is, my senior suggested that something better could be done. (He was implying that I get my uni plans set out since I am in a slow moving quicksand.) But the thing is, is it better to spend this free time volunteering instead? Hmm, this is an all new angle.

He jealous laaaaaa

Okay, maybe no salt today. I've started to eat healthily. I push away fast food. I leave for home early to eat home cooked meals. I boil chicken breast to ooze out all the protein. But one thing I don't do is reject my parent's food when they eat out. DANG.

Parents have the final say. And I'm such a filial son. Booyeah.

It's a thing I want to start. Maybe slowly and steadily. I mean, eating is good but eating it healthily is way better. I just got sick not trying to be better. It just intrigues me how someone could skip fast food for one friggin' year. But hold your horses! I mean, he got like a whole range of food to eat. He basically can eat anywhere. My food culture has always been like a stomach stuffer of all goodies and great marvellous food. And that's why most of my population has heart attack, diabetes, high blood pressure... THE LIST GOES ON.

Haha, I'm not saying it's bad as in it's not delicious. Just saying it's NOT thy healthy. Just saying. I mean, we do have healthier alternatives. But I jut don't see them. Maybe all the good food hid them. LOLOL.

Every morning, I boil chicken breasts till they are white. Put some salt perhaps. And then I sieve it out, sprinkle pepper. Put 2 slices of wholemeal bread. And have that for lunch.

Looks good. This is just one meal. I've yet to have it in all meals. Just because Dad is mocking me. HE JEALOUS LAAAA.

Head and heels; They go over.

Mannnn. I'm like… really… Gosh. I don't want to hope for the best. I want the best. I want to make sure I do all it takes to get and be the best.

And right now, as I wait anxiously for that text, I can only hope for the best.

This part of life seriously sucks. Someone build the mind reading hat already!