2 things today: Departing for an Overseas Immersion Programme, daily updates will keep me sane. 6 times 7 of pure ZUL. *Ego baloon here!* And then I question how we think before we talk.
There’s a funny video on FB when a friend of mine was departing for Korea. Her friend was demonstrating a Korean conversation that has the least chance of reality. Haha. Next time, put subs la. No idea for what but I felt such a heavy heart to see waves of farewell in the ending credits. And tomorrow, I’ll be in her shoes.
And that feeling starts to sink in. You start to think whether you’re doing the right thing. Or you start to have second thoughts. Ain’t it a tad bit too late? Definitely. But the more you think, the more your heart paces. Doubt lingers and before you know it, you fear. Ironically, at this point, that sinking feeling is dwarfed. You hyper-ventilate if need be. Your heart paces slower, but still fast. Haha. And then, all is revealed. You’re still going.
Being scared to leave behind what we treasure most is less of a life’s task and more of a necessary evil of some sorts. I mean, if we can be comfortable, why be NOT comfortable. If it ain’t broken, don’t fix it! Some call it for the rush of adrenaline or a new brush of challenge. While many are forced, it is for the greater good. But then you risk. A feeling of insecurity, being scared, phobia-prone and even emo! So why leave the comfort zone?
Because you have to. Regardless of your gallant, heroic-story-material reasons, you leave because you have to. Moving is living. Literary. Haha.
And once you leave, things move fast, which is good. Less time to think about second thoughts! I just remembered a month ago how excited I was to go for a 6-weeks trip. And how China would be a dietary challenge for me! HAHA. And then 2 weeks to go, bags unpacked and now 1 day today, flashbacks of fear and insecurity and yeah… all the things that make you thing “MAN, REALLY? AM I GONNA SURVIVE?” Memories are like words from mouths, when compared to black-white-paper-evidence, they are imaginary. But they make special chemistry with our hearts.
So tomorrow, I might tear a bit. Being a manly man, I will disguise it of course!
I think I'm an alley cat. Catch Pt 2 later in the day.
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