Blackbird. v1

How long has it been? BAH. Too long for that matter. I am not even familiar with my current keyboard. It just feels so odd. Now my fingers are telling me to give up. How dare they. You will serve me for ever more until the end of my time. It looks like I have a lot of things to do. For once, I have yet to send out the individualised emails. Secondly, my tutorials are piling higher and higher. Thirdly, there are some that are starting to pray for me, so that I will not break.

Thanks.

I will not break. I will never be broken again. But I need to fight to live. Right now, I am just a figment of an idea. I am just tomorrow’s wishes that will never come true. I must work harder, faster stronger. If I don’t reach at that state of rest, I will become mad. So mad that it will eat me up. Forget expectations, forget goals, forget ideas. Remember, just remember to live.

It looks really hard because it is! So don’t flatter yourself with “motivational talk”. What you need is just pureness. Something that can only be achieved if you really truly desire.

Sands

Nothing beats notepad.

With Lucida Console as its font, and the unmistakeable bleach white background, the Windows Notepad remains one of the best tools to... take notes. No need for formatting. No need for rulers. No need for colour. No need for alignment. Just your spacebar, your enter key and your letters.

That's all.

Though, I wished that it had a spellchecker and the ability to skip whole words (by pressing the CTRL key and directional keys) were available. A workaround would be holding the SHIFT key. That highlights them too.

Nonetheless, this remains one one of the, if not among, the best choice for writing. Because when you want to just write, all you are are your ideas.

Classes start at 8am. So i better make this quick.

Here's what gonna happen tomorrow.

I end classes at 3pm. By then, I've already took my lunch. So I'll head down to the nearest Famous Amos and get some cookies. No, shouldn't I wait till later? I don't want the cookies to be cold. Okay, so maybe I'll leave for cookies at 4? and then get them before 6 or 7?

ALTERNATIVELY, I can just get them from Subway. Maybe I should ask them for a batch order. Like, "I need 36 cookies. I WILL COLLECT THEM AT 9!" Yeah, maybe that's a better idea.

OR, I could just bake. HAHHAHAHHA.

Alright, with cookies at hand, I will make my way for dinner. Or I could just skip that and proceed for the meeting. And then my cue for a few words. After which, we shall talk.

Yeah, "HTHT".

All along, I wanted to be something. Something different from your ordinary package. Something unique. I wanted to be special. Years pass by, as this thinking deteriorated my mental stability. It corroded me. And eventually, this just made me half the man I used to be.

Half man, and half machine.

Not heartless, just emotionless. But today, I somehow got pass that thinking. Being the President, is a tough job. All these expectations begin to fill your inbox and you fear. You fear that you can't meet them.

In such a case, you become resistive. Rejecting everything. Instead, you procrastinate and delay the pain. All because you want to meet expectations. But truly, are these expectations that we meet? So, every time you fall down, you alone fall to pieces. And never your team is there. They need no leader who fears himself.

They need a leader that fears not.

Words

I can only offer words.

http://www.errorofheart.blogspot.com

What I Want To Be Is To Be Ready

It has been far too long. But I will do whatever I can to keep this blog alive. But of course, I must not forget to tend to the other matters that surrounds me. An average post is about 300 words. Covering a basic day that usually involves something significant. If not, why would I write it? Yeah, throw all that describes a boring, lame day. Stop complaining about that bus which comes every 20 minutes. Stop procrastinating on your work just to watch some anime flick. Stop that excessive facebook-ing. She won’t like it that you look at her photos every time you go to sleep! (Or maybe she does?) And a post could detail something you really don’t want to forget. Like a dream where you wish you would dream forever. But that basically defeats the purpose of dreams; They make you sleep.

Something significant? What about the time I turned 18? Read up my previous post on how the 3 best-est bunch got me a present. I can blame myself for all I want, not noticing their ‘sleazy’ moves OR I can say that, “Man o’ Man, they just SIMPLY rock!” Haha. Thank yous’ are never enough. But if I have to say something, YOU ALL ARE LIKE A BRA TO ME. Comfortable, uplifting and fits me WELL. HAHHAHAA.

How can I forget it? I would have imagined me being literary suicidal. Just standing at the 7th floor of my former school, preparing to jump. But nope. I didn’t. I never saw an end. Maybe it was faith that held me or the presence of my loved ones that reminded me or just the very fact that the human spirit is one awesome dude. Showered in regret but awake and well. Right now, my road, my challenge, my mountain, my everything all comes together. I will perform to my best of ability. And I will see to it that my men don’t falter. I am ready. LEO CLUB, THROW ME YOUR BEST PUNCH! BOOYEAH!

You know what, I shall end here. Tomorrow (or rather today) Leo Club of NP will be working together with Lions and Leo Club of SRC for the Wealth of Love fundraising event. Along with over 250 volunteers, we will be in the heart of Singapore where we will be accepting donations of any kind. And to not forget the generous contributions, for every $2 donations, a specially designed door hanger will be given! Proceeds will directly benefit the Lions Home for the Elderly and the Lions Befrienders Service Centres.

Head down to Orchard road and you will see yellow jacket clad volunteers embracing the support for Lions Home and Befrienders. So pitch in your support!

Venue: Along Orchard Road (including Chinatown)
HQ Venue: SMU School of IT
Time: 9am – 6pm

COME ON DOWN PEOPLE!
:D

Contemplate

Dated 17 January, that is about a MONTH of writer’s block we’re talking here. HAHA. I think it is inevitable to contract this ‘disease’. Anyone is bound to get it. But the real question is how fast you recover from it. So far, I’m not that fast. A month of motionless thoughts lay stagnant in my head. TIME TO FLUSH IT ALL OUT. I guess I owe you a month’s worth of posts. Let’s see how it happens.

Jan 18

You know what? I initially wanted to remove my birthday info. And see how many people REALLY know me. But I kinda will feel sad knowing ZERO people know my birthday. HAHA. That actually sucks. In the end, more than a handful flooded my Facebook wall.

Those wonderful 18 years have passed. Which subsequently translates to my ever near National Service? Oh my. Tertiary education has treated me well. The environment in Ngee Ann is just ‘wow’. Seriously, you might think that Singaporeans would just ‘mind their own business’ but hey, there are quite a number who would voice it OUT.

And of course, what is a birthday… without a celebration? Well yeah, about that. Haha. My parents kinda burned me. They originally wanted to have a dinner with me so I cancelled all my plans with my mates. BUT THEN THEY DECIDED NOT TO GO. wth! So yeah, many apologies to my 3 peeps: Daren, Alvin & Jiayi. I love you all.

I LOVE YOU ALL. Really. Gosh, they got me a present! It’s like my FIRST EVER PRESENT from anyone man! Haha. My parents don’t really pass me presents for my birthday. In fact, they usually use the reward from my exams in Nov as my present. Talk about killing 2 birds with a stone. BETTER STILL, saving money on gifts. I don’t really like gifts. Gifts just last as long as they are made. But a card or a call to say Happy Birthday, that is just golden. : )

But aww man, many MANY thanks to you 3 peeps. They got me this pair of headphones. Just in time actually. My white Audio Technica became faulty after I ‘borrowed’ from my bro. Err, don’t tell him please. It could be fixed. It’s just that the cable has become loose and it’s not giving a good sound. Or no sound for that matter. Open it up and re-solder and it’ll be good as new!

 So yeah, on Sunday, we went out minus Jiayi. I just wanted to go out. Never in my mind had I guess that those 3 peeps were planning anything for me. In fact, I didn’t even tell them it was my birthday! And Daren over here pulled some trick whatsoever… GOSH. He told me he wanted to get a pair but in fact, he was getting it for me! He knew I was pretty into audio technologies (life of a man sitting in front of a laptop covers many, many other stuff hor!). I didn’t really see through his motives and because of that, I was like WAHH. They were under my noses all along. GEEZ! But kudos to you all. Looks like I have a workaround.

HE LIKE HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT HEADPHONES LAHH. “Oh I heard that the jack has to be gold or something.”

-_-

They rock. They just do.

My day doesn’t end there. In school, my class wanted to smash some cake. OH SORRY MATES. I’m super aware of my surroundings. And I have pretty good reflexes too. Big thanks to Krithe and Eileen for the cake! NO THANKS to those who hijacked my laptop. !!!

It's nice. Thanks everyone. To Daren, Alvin and Jiayi, for TRICKING me! Haha! To A23 peeps! Thanks for the cake! NO CAKE SMASHING ON MY BIRTHDAY! HAAH. To Sophie, thanks for being the first person to wish me! HAHA. (Coincedentally, the last one was Alicia)

WOW.

Finding Those Words

She just had to say those things…

I went out today, hoping to get things off my mind. But was kinda reluctant when my parents wanted me to go out with them. BAH. I had went out with my friends last night so when I used it today, it didn’t really stand. HMM. Either I have to find better grounds to FIGHT FOR MY RIGHT TO PARTY (as quoted from the Beastie Boys!) or maybe realise that I am a sucker for time management. My Mom was right, I had went out last night, came home late and Mom DID NOT say a thing about it AND I WENT OUT knowing full well that Monday creeps near. Oh my timetable, why must you start at 9 for a Monday???? But hey, now I’m home. I should set Sundays as my family day. In fact, I came home at 9. Didn’t really do much. Was kinda expecting a little control on my funds today. But spent it on an hour of LAN. And a KFC meal. I think my body’s rejecting it. ESPECIALLY MY BICEPS. I knew I did the curls wrongly! Damn! Uhhh…

It was pretty fun. I went out with Alvin and Daren. FINALLY got Alvin to play LAN with us but of course, NOOB ALERT. Bah. Oh I should have taken of Alvin’s outfit. I will be committing a gentleman sin here. Commenting on one’s attire is a selfish NONO. But no way will I see this fashion disaster happen! I couldn’t believe Alvin came in sleeveless sports attire, black fit shorts and slip on shoes. WHAT THE fish! Super super whoa. I would have probably ditched the ‘sleeveless sports shirt’ and went for a long sleeve collar tee. Maybe I could rolled the sleeves up or leave it as is. It will make one look pretty buff. Eyes will fall on the top first but the legs will get much attention too. So it’s recommended you build your legs when wearing this. HAHA.

But the bag was a killer. GOSH. Slinging from his right shoulder, across his chest, the rectangular piece of… ERR… was just making it really… gosh. The bag reminds me of my Sec 1 and 2 days. HAHA.

So yeah, we went LAN. Saw him with his notes and I told him, “Maybe you should take a break or something?”. Heh, we did. An hour of LAN at Colosseum@Iluma. It’s apparently the biggest LAN centre. Pretty good stuff there. It’s like e2MAX without the $3.50 price tag. Actually, it uses the same software as e2MAX to manage the games! WTH!!! Pretty cool stuff. You have to be a member at 16 bucks to get the discounts. $1.50 for weekdays. $2 for Fridays and Saturdays. $2.50 for a Sunday. THAT TOTALLY RAPES e2MAX’s rates okay! Like I’ve said, pretty cool rigs there. Razer Krait, Razer Tarantula keyboard, a headset (pretty sucky for my standards but hey, it works!) and a really nice 21” screen. MAN o’ MAN, the screen is just BE-EE-A-U-TIFUL.

Daren got a pair of shoes. Don’t know why he had to buy. Then a pair of headphones. ALSO don’t know why he had to buy. I should have told him… GET AN iPHONE larrrr. Ohoh, we went KFC. Wanted to buy the Family Feast. But considering a new hack Daren learnt, we grabbed the 3 piece meal instead. It was superrrrr PAI SEH man. WE HAD NOT ENOUGH MONEY!!! Eventually, Alvin saved our ass. Gosh. Lucky us.

Well, Iluma was fun. They should get more shops there. Found a particular shops selling albums and all. They had some kind of a musical box up for sale. Really tiny. You had to wind it and it’ll play a song! Haha. Or rather the tune of it. Really cool. Alvin’s idea of a gift sparked some thoughts of it as a gift too. HMM. I also saw this.

 

Boo-yeah.

CRYING LIGHTNING.

I love my Mac. It has been 3 years and now, it still goes on. Gosh, I love you. The keyboard still feels fresh. And even after having my Acer machine for almost a year now, I still can't get around the nifty layout of a MacBook.

Supposedly, I am to finish up up my Engineering Economy presentation. But I have hit a ditch. That goes to show, when you're not listening in class, you are in deep shit. I'm waiting for a classmate of mine to send in his copy. Hopefully I could make sense of the numbers. Nominal vs Effective. PW vs AW vs FW. Compounding Period and Time Period. Ba, just too much. Also, I gotta brush up on my Analogue Electronics. All the Bipolar Junction Terminal crap is just... yeah, you know. Not forgetting my long due tutorials. Alternative Current Circuits, AEL, Engineering Maths 2... and the list goes on...

Like I've said, SUPPOSEDLY. The email has yet to reach me. I can't open the slides for AEL. I've certainly no mood count and looking at circuits make me wanna puke. To top it all, I have CCA business to do. So without further ado, lemme do my work peeps!