Make sense from the emotional nonsense!

Here’s the cliff. Either you jump now or later. Yes, you can’t see the bottom of the pit. It’s shrouded with uncertainty. Blah, blah, blah. But you do get the point yeah?

I started liking her when I first saw her in the Wave Camp. It first struck me that she had some resemblance to my aunt. HAHA. I didn’t get to really know her since I was in a different group. Tracing back, the whole camp was at the East Coast Park. I was seated beside Hop Song. Yeah, it should be him. She complained about the mosquitoes in that area and how they were bugging her and (if it was really him), Hop Song pointed out that men don’t really get bugged by them as our sweaty, slippery skin just give the mosquitoes a hard time to bite. As everyone gets a good laugh, she just drew a controlled laugh. I mean c’mon, she’s being laughed of and she found it funny too. Ironic; A companion in life. Seated just across her, her laughter has clearly made an imprint in my memories. After all, her smiled made me smile.

And then, we come back to Earth. Here’s the deal, a person named A, kind of drew similar feelings that I have of her. With the ability to steal my thunder, he will be a challenge when things get heated up. What’s worst is that his profile contradicts his actions. He’s the kind that goes out with a bag of wtf comedy & a psycho with a lot of ridicule. He’s not my cup of tea. So when he confessed to her, I was out of words. It was as though English lost it’s flavour. It was as though my life came to an abrupt halt. For the past few months, have I been reading the wrong profiles? Or have I been too concerned about my well-being that I neglected the very details that makes a person’s profile?

Something’s wrong. Once again, my lack of focus concocted with a swirl of foolishness has pulled me further from the water’s edge. Unimaginable. I’ve looked into this sector far too long only to realise that it make no friggin’ difference?! GOSH.

But hold up, identifying the source of the problem is one. Correcting it is another step. A didn’t really showcase the full profile I fitted him. The profile: Bulky; A person that goes out risking everything and anything as though the World belonged to him. He also cares little of anything. Some might say that he’s the worst kind. RECAP, does A showcase such characteristics? He risks everything. He says what he wants. He gives fuck about things. But he stops there. He has the mind of a focus and comedic person which brings about an outgoing personality. Yes, he’s no gentleman but his opinions are much appreciated.

Many say he’s not their cup of tea. (Or within those that has been working with him.) Some even suggest that his ‘outgoing-ness’ is shifting much focus of the team off. That’s the frequency. Everyone has their own frequency. As is just different from the most of us. Fyi, that frequency is similar to our Proj Manager’s. Also, some say that he’s lazy which is why he gives fuck about a thing. Does he help? Yeah. But not all the time. Put the original team and A will be the odd one out.

Enough about him. He is just ruining my plans for her. Originally, I wanted the slower way in. Now, with half the World knowing, the cat’s out of the bag. It’s a green light. Let’s reframe this thinking. You sure it’s negative? It could be positive since the uneasiness of 2 newly fallen in love when such a time comes by. But you have to act fast and correct. especially when you have A snaking your squirrel.

What’s more confusing is that when news of A’s confession first broke. I was sceptical of it. A pulls everyone’s leg and it’s not the first time he is pulling a prank. I’ve got people telling me that it was a setup. She’s just testing my waters. Whoa really? She was the person that revealed to me. In fact, she wanted help on how to push him away.

Adding fuel to fire, I got my emotions overwhelming me so much so that I just had to tease A into revealing his true feelings. I mean c’mon, I DON’T BELIEVE IT. And to just have fun, I told him my thoughts of her.

Let’s see the time line:

She wanted help to push A away –> Emotions beckoned me to know As true feelings (Which backfired btw) –> Poking fun, I revealed my feelings –> A told her about me (so was this a setup?) –> She apologised, acknowledging the big hoohaa –> I accepted it. (So she assumes that I like her.)

And so I’m here. She knows I like her. So this makes her believe that she knows that I know about A revealing my feelings of her. Which in theory, was only revealed to her bestie. So she knows that her bestie told me. And so, her bestie knows that I’m in cahoots with her bestie.

So what now?