The not so hearty part of HTHT (2)

Following rave reviews of my previous post (read: shameless), I guess I have to do a follow-up.

A friend asks, "You lonely? So lonely and depressed that you don't have a slightest chance of an opportunity to even talk to a person?! GEEZ, talk to yourself!"

Another points out, "Dude, people HTHT to let things go man! WTF is your problem? Let them be!"

And thankfully, not everyone in this world is a troll, "I don't think HTHT should be 'generalised' as an activity of thrill. There are people who do genuinely care and they would offer a listening ear even if it's out of their own expense. Just my 2 cents."

Okay, here's my response.

I don't like to label. The way I see about HTHT is that we are having an exclusive association for this. (read: psychology has a study on the effects of human behaviour when we have associations with physical and non-physical objects. blah blah blah...)

An example for exclusive associations would be how we respond to fear. Doesn't it make you ask yourself why people have phobias about spiders? And it's even weirder when you see the stats and ask, why do only a certain handful freak the smallest of spiders? Even more puzzling are facts on why is it so and how this fear comes about. Is it hard-wired into our brains? Can we change this wiring? Or even alter wiring to maybe perhaps fear something else?

That is exclusive association. My take of it that is. Essentially, HTHT should not be exclusively associated as a thrill seekers dose of living. Being natural, it is just another form of communication. But we have to agree that this communication is deeper and much more 'sacred'. I definitely agree. That is my first point.

2nd point; It pains me to see my friends just shrug away this simple conversation as a form of meh-responsibility. "Orh, he just talk to me like that lor." It is important to that person so much so that he is willing to divulge details of his life never shared to anyone and a selfish, annoying, pompous prick of you throw away such basic duty of human life. And that is to talk.

This brings my 3rd point. There are obviously some just to trigger happy about this. In fact, this was the main point that started me to write about HTHT. And I know a person. She is much so as it seems she living off HTHT. I mean, don't take me wrong. To want to hear people's agony. To lend a shoulder when the rain comes. To be strong enough for the fallen as a role model in their hard times. That's a lot of work and to 'volunteer' for it seems a spectacle.

But it just feels weird. It feels too fucking fake.

The takeaway for this is here: If you think that a HTHT session would solve people's problems and you think it's a way for them to cope. NO. Some people don't need to be talked. Some people see actions louder. But all of them, want someone there. Just there.

If you are really there, then you would know.

Ashes fall off.

TODAY, was special. I got scolded at first. Didn't see an oncoming rider and he practically road raged on me. And while that was bad enough, the bikes had overtimed by a whooping 2 hours. Burnt, not only my hole, but the others too of 10 bucks. And as if that's the lowest point, my printer went bazooooks on me began to tell me that the new ink I just installed can't be use. So much for reliable software? Oh yeah, gotta print a document by tomorrow morning.

But I am not disheartened. If the ones above me feel that this day needs to be even bad and make my parents mad at me, so be it. Because I feel blessed to be among a group so loveable. I tell you why.

I helped someone ride a bike! All in a day's work as who I am. First aided a dude who went elbow first on a head-on bike collision. I hope he's save. Cycled 2 bikes, which means that I am now 3 stars in kayaking terms. Lololol. Btw, 4 stars is biking hands-free. 5 is wheeling and if you can do that, 6 is a give away; Riding while hand standing. Wheeeoooowwww.

Today is blessed, because I got through it.

Have you ever gotten into a fight? Like a real fist fight? With clenched bloody fists meeting flesh and bone, without that amaturish kicks of course, with grapples and elbows and knees... Have you ever? Oh and btw, who kicks and bounces backwards? You gotta stay put man. Back to the fight, have you ever? Well, today I did. Wanted to feel alive again. Like that scene from Fight Club, where Tyler and 'Jack' starts whacking the nuts out. Like in first year, walking up the spiral staircase, thinking to myself that my life bores me, lets punch this kid on my right.

It feels good to fight the hell out. Irony isn't it? One feels mainly pain in a fight but when he walks out, as a victor or with a loss at hand, he feels liberated. That's why boxers, box. That's why heroes keep pressing a cause they believe. That's why we keep trying. Warriors.

Now now, where's that ashtray?