Distance

I saw you at a distance. I really saw you. I really wanted to see you.

But I chose not to. And I can't seem to understand why.

Bloke's Meaning

I'm bored today.

I have to complete a large portion of my FYP's programming for showcase tomorrow. Sounds cool huh? When your software is buggy and is prone to crashes, it's like writing a 1000 word essay with sore fingers and a diarrhoea. So much so, I am sick of it. In my planning, I would ditch this software and get a better one.

Did I mention how my supervisors are more of naggy parents who only know how to point out faults then to motivate, or professionally called 'support', students' hard work?

Then again, I am 'contracted' to do this shit I don't feel like doing. My reward? A measly grade that indicates how well I listen to my supervisors' demands.

Bravo. Is that the real measure of success? How we turn out in the light of others? Is it what we choose to wear? A man in a suit vs a man in torn clothes. What is really a true indicator of success?

Beats me too. But is being successful what we really want? I've seen many programs, on TV and in self-improvement workshops, that help to define the "true meaning" of success. Books outline them and bring out the meaning of success. But is that true?

More and more, we got people to understand that it's not about how successful you are. But rather it's if the work you just did is meaningful.

And don't forget to quantify it. I mean if you want to measure something, you got to have some kind of a unit or a value. Like for grades, it is deduced in letters where A represents the top percentile. Say 85 percentile? And then we love stars. Just by affixing a star to a letter, we get the 90 percentile. I would surely worked harder if it had a cooler name like Gold Class A or A-Awesome.

Haha. The thing is, I don't really like to label.

Doing something you don't love is like saying you don't smoke but you hang around with smokers when they smoke. Unless you are trying to prove a paradox, I'd say you should find new friends.

And we can't quantify or put a value to meaning. The closest you get is a floating feeling of how much you felt its meaningful. You simply can't attach a physical quantity. It's like grabbing air. So the real value to how meaningful your work is known through you and the people around you.

Someone from LifeHacker, please come up of an article to hack my brain to love what I don't like. Then that way, I would do my work in a much meaningful way.

And there's always just doing what you love in the first place.

The not so hearty part of HTHT

I had a wacky idea one day that seems to have originated from a team member of ImprovEverywhere. It was scary initially, and i just didn't want to go full scale just yet. So, with my endless free time from FYP, I decided to do a 'field test'.

I wanted to just walk up to a complete stranger and just ask, "Hello, how are you?" Just offer 20 minutes of listening. It's like getting into the 1st team selection. It's like being dug up from the accumulating earth that is sitting on top of you since Monday. It's like FINALLY, enough with this crap. What if, everyone was your friend?

I was told of this HTHT thingy by a particular friend of mine. It's weird. Why do people need to talk 'heartily'? Can't you decide on your own? Well, maybe they need a 2nd opinion on things. But then again, what's so 'hearty' about it?

By no means I'm downplaying it. I think it's part of a process in decision making. And we are humans. We communicate. So we talk. It's kinda natural... I think.

But one thing is for sure, I just don't think that we should label it. Basically, it's part of our way of communicating and so, let's just talk!

Do I share a higher affinity with you if I 'HTHT' with you? Perhaps if you consider the things I talk to you, perhaps yes. It's exclusively you. But it's not a right. And definitely, we should not live on it. I see a person living on 'HTHT' like it's some mana from a game. The more she hears, the more 'special' she becomes. Like it's her thrill. Her cheap thrill.

No. It makes you weak.

Saturday as a Slob

When Friday came, I did dread. My FYP is in the midst of completion but with the intermittent hiccups and unforeseen delays, a 2 day off is not exactly a good idea. It's not that I don't like weekends, I just don't like delays.

And I thought I could catch up with my programming schedule by bringing some work back. So I lugged my laptop back on Friday night JUST to realised the next day that I forgot to bring my AC adapter. Talk about luck?

Saturday was like a slob's day. News came trickled in. Especially the news of the passing of former SA principal Mrs Krempl. She taught my brother back in SA and she kinda revolutionised how rugby was in SA. At her time, Rugby was the primary sport and today, SA Rugby is the prime sport of her masses. SA will miss you.

So I wanted to talk about things, for example, How to make Teachers Great (Part 3): Scolding or commenting on an article about Singapore's Civic Responses. But I didn't get along to do that. I was purely putting this Saturday as a Slob's day. I really want to waste time on this day so that I won't waste any other day's time.

Then again, I am doing away time as I type. My Saturday's boring, how about yours? Pretty beautiful right?