Thursday, July 07, 2011

For Your Eyes Only

Dear Diary


I have been a douche. I acted adversely again, following my instincts but not my heart. Transforming into a monster, I take it sourly. The solution seems to seek calm and quietness for days. And then I can't garner much courage to face her anymore. Like a crumpled piece of paper, it can never be perfect again. As always, she will always be the one that got away.


So what did I do selfishly wrong? Was I deaf and blind to all her actions to mend our friendship? Or was she stubborn to notice how her actions were hurting my pride. Was my pride too prideful? Or can she even see that in me?


Stick to a decision.


You try to mend this fragile glass of feelings by trying to understand me? No. There's no right action. There's no 'mend'. There's no way.


I'm gonna treat you like my friend. A non-member friend. It will take  a whole chunk of my pride away. It will. It will. But that's as close as I can get to you when a part of me still like you.

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