thinking and doing.

Some people fall in love and live. Some people fall in love and get quicksand.

And I get all these ideas from someone?

I'm in school doing some thing I shouldn't be. Basically, studying that is. Got some books on batteries and started understanding how they worked. It's a pretty good read. But here lies a little problem, I get bored way too easy. WAY TOO EASY. Just looking at my list of posts, I have about 3 incomplete posts in draft. That just goes to show how unfocused I am.

OH WELL. The last few days have been rough. But as how I have lived by so far, if I survived yesterday, I will survive today. On Monday, I completed my move to an adult world by passing a great opportunity to work with one of the largest multi-national companies in the world. I just simply passed it.

I questioned my motives, like always. It seemed so fucking surreal that I am doing such things. To think 3 years back, I would not have imagined my luck and would just say yes. Oh, now I get it. It makes sense now.

Being opportunistic, is the discipline to say no. It's not the ability to agree to everything and balance it all out in 24 hours of a life. I did that 3 years back. And it felt fake. It did not feel rewarding. How can one still be lost when he's receiving all the extraordinary chances?! Scholarship. Country representation. Management experience. Those make a good portfolio. A fucking good one.

On a long enough timeline, one's survivability rate drops to zero. And on this timeline, I became ingenuine in my work. Days grew longer and harder. All these chances weren't making me better. They made me a slave of my own expectations.

So I said no to a good job because I did not want to do fake work. I can't code much anyway. And I knew that I was not ready to change myself. Though we trained ourselves to be better, faster, efficient machines, we are still humans. Humans can't be machines, we make mistakes. Even machines make mistakes.

Don't confuse it with one's failure to adapt. We have to recognise that the only constant is change but when things are not right, you feel it. When you decide to adapt to that change rather then reject it, is the stage where you accept that uneasy feeling. It may make you an asset to a company to do whatever that comes your way but to me, it's not worth it.

Like in the adult world, there is a time where you are unemployed. That's my time now.

Be it the inability to adapt, stupid decisions or just bad luck, you have to make sure that you are thinking with reason and doing with purpose. Else, you might as well be dead.